"Separation Can Be the Worst Thing to Happen"

This summer I have been reading and commenting on the book What If Everybody Understood Child Development? by Rae Pica. These are the last 2 chapters. There will be a summary post later this week.

Chapter 28: Time to Give Time-Out a Time-Out

Chapter 29: "You're Outta Here!"

These chapters deal with two similar ways of dealing with inappropriate behavior - separation. One (time out) is separating a child within the classroom for a period of time. The other (suspension) is separating a child from the school for a period of time. 

I found Dr. Haiman's comments about separation very interesting and thought-provoking. He said that "separation is the worst thing that can happen when a child misbehaves." The time of misbehavior is the time when a child needs to be close, not separated. The time alone can be interpreted by children as rejection, say Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne. Time out or the threat of it can increase stress. 

I certainly agree with Rae summarizing statement: "As a blanket strategy, time-outs are overused, misused, developmentally inappropriate, and harmful." I've seen teachers use time-out as a first or only strategy when any misbehavior happens within the classroom.

Suspension can be even greater detriment to kids, especially when used with zero tolerance policies. Zero tolerance allows for no assessing the situation, no teaching or learning opportunities, no accounting for kids being kids. It's more concerned about punishment than discipline (teaching). 

What instead? Here are some ideas that Rae includes in her chapters:

--Look for ways to give kids a break when they need it. Keep connected to your kids and look for ways to suggest these breaks before behavior is out of control, allowing kids to use breaks for getting themselves under control.

--Use a "time-in." Sit with the child and talk. This can help a child know what to do next time. Or he can express his frustrations to help you better understand what's happening. (This reminds me of Ross W. Greene's Plan B.)

--Allow several different ways for kids to calm down and encourage them to choose the ones they need.

--Use logical consequences instead of suspensions for misbehavior. 

--Get to know kids and parents. Understanding a child's situation can help you know how to handle behavior.

Some links from the book---

• Time to Give Time-Out a Time-Out
• What Is Responsive Classroom Time-Out?
• Why Suspension Makes No Sense in the Early Grades
• Zero Tolerance Schools Discipline Without Wiggle Room

And a few more---

• March Madness and What Time Outs Should REALLY Look Like
• Zero Tolerance
• Self Regulation: The #1 Skill for Success in School and Life!
• Challenging Behaviors Blog Book Study

Threats and Bribes

This summer I'm reading and commenting on the book What If Everybody Understood Child Development? by Rae Pica.

Chapter 27: Bribes and Threats Work, But...

Have you ever been in a position of doing something that just doesn't seem quite right but you're not sure what else to do? Or it's the norm in the surrounding environment and you are expected to do the same? That's been my experience with some classroom management strategies. I've used a behavior chart; it didn't really work. My school has used "behavior bucks" (not their real name but close) that kids could use to "buy" prizes; the same kids always got the bucks and behavior didn't really change overall. Why do teachers, administrators, and schools use these methods? Quick fixes and purchased compliance.

In this chapter, Rae stresses that, even though teachers/schools use these types of "tools," they are mainly ineffective and have been shown over and over to be ineffective. "Neither...are effective in the long-term for either behavior management or building character and fostering intrinsic motivation," she writes. Rae notes that these types of tools don't work for adults in the workplace either except for simple tasks over a short time frame.

Which is more important, Josh Stumpenhorst asks in the chapter, to have compliant students or engaged learners? I want engaged learners, students who are interested and involved in the classroom. How? Give kids meaningful and worthwhile tasks, provide choice, and create enjoyment in what you are doing.

As I thought about this chapter, I remembered the book Lost at School by Ross W. Greene. In that book, he writes that all students know what is the right thing to do and want to do the right thing. Kids that have challenging behavior either have a unsolved problem, a lagging skill, or both. Our jobs as teachers is to help kids solve their problems and develop their skills. These bribe/threat tools reward kids that would have appropriate behavior in any case and cannot help kids who are challenging. (It's a great book; I recommend it.)

I remember one POOR day in my second grade class (poor for me). My most challenging kid was absent as the day started. The morning had been going pretty well. Then my challenging kid came late. At the restroom break, things were a little difficult. As I spoke to get my challenging kid for the fourth (fifth? seventh?) time about hallway behavior, I said (a little exasperated), "Earlier this morning were better." He said, "I know. It's all my fault that now things are bad." 

I had to stop and pull him aside. I apologized. I told him that it was not his fault and I was sorry that what I said sounded like that. But I think I was trying to manipulate his behavior through my words. My heart stings even now as I think about that moment. I will not be that teacher again.

Links from the book---

• Classroom Management: Yes, Bribes and Threats Work But...
• Punished by Rewards? A Converation with Alfie Kohn

And a few more---

• Yes I Used One
• Chuck the Chart
• So How Do You Manage Your Class When You Don't Punish?
• What If Everything You Knew About Disciplining Kids Was Wrong?

Failing at Failure

This summer I'm reading and commenting on the book What If Everybody Understood Child Development? by Rae Pica.

Chapter 20: Failure Is an Option

Do you remember a time when you made a mistake or failed at something? How did you feel? What did you learn? Looking back, do you wish it never happened or are you glad it did?

Today in many classrooms, students are worried about failing. Not failing a subject or failing a test. They are worried about making a mistake or not coming in first.

Many homes cultivate this anxiety. Parents try to protect children from making a mistake (or suffering consequences of a mistake). They don't want the child to feel bad or have a negative experience or not be successful. But that's not the way life will treat them.

Schools cultivate this anxiety. Get it right. There's only one right answer.  A bad grade will reflect on your entire educational career. Your teacher will be disappointed. If you don't do well, your teacher may lose her job. Now that's pressure.

But the lack of failure can result in a lack of resiliency, the ability to recover from discouragement or adversity. The lack of failure or the fear of it can result in less risk-taking, less willingness to try something new, less experimenting to solve a problem. Kids will stick with what they know will work so they will be "right."

Rae Pica mentions Carol Dweck (someone I've been hearing a lot about lately). Dweck has proposed a theory that an individual's mindset impacts what he does. A fixed mindset believes that intelligence and abilities are predetermined and unchangeable so the individual works hard to prove (and defend and not push the limits of) his intelligence. A growth mindset believes that intelligence and talent can be developed with effort, so the individual will work to increase his abilities, often making mistakes along the way.

I've heard kids in my church kindergarten class ask, "What do we do here?" I think that can be attributed to doing things the "right way" and not making a mistake. I've been in a classroom of second graders, silent because no one wants to hazard an answer to the question I've just asked. I've seen kids upset because someone else came in first. it can be disappointing to lose but kids need to learn that they cannot always come out on top. And if they worked hard and tried their best, they did what they could do. And they can work harder to improve.

My rope light FAIL

Everyone wants to be a winner, a success, the one on top. But, really, who learns the most? One who can breeze through? Or one who works hard and maybe even fails? I learn the most when I fail (even if I wish I succeeded). I want to keep trying different things, to take risks in my teaching and learning.

We want kids who work hard and try to improve, who take risks and experiment to solve problems. Kids who fail and keep at it.

Some links from the book---

• Victims of Excellence: Teaching Children to Learn from Mistakes, Parents to Allow Them
• The Dangers of Praising Children Inappropriately
• It's a Mistake Not to Use Mistakes As Part of the Learning Process

And a few more---

• Mindset Online
• No One Does It On His Own
• Learning to Be a Successful Failure
• Five Reasons to Stop Saying "Good Job"

What I've Been Reading: Lost at School

I read a lot of things. Since I'm finishing my university classes this semester, I read a lot about teaching for school and not much on my own time.

But I'm trying to read through all my "to be read" lists (and I have several...long ones). The book Lost at School by Ross W. Greene has been on my "education" list for a while. I checked it out from our great public library and have just finished it.

It was a really great book - one that kept me thinking and pondering.

This book focuses on kids with challenging behavior. You know those kids - the ones that always seem to be "in trouble." (This book focuses on elementary and older students.) The ones that don's seem to respond to discipline plans or incentives or consequences or anything. Throughout this book I kept thinking "I wish I knew this last year."

The core of this book: Behind every challenging behavior is an unsolved problem, a lagging skill, or both.

Students with challenging behavior are lacking thinking skills or problem-solving skills to deal with concerns so they use whatever tools they have to deal with the issues...and that leads to challenging behavior. This book presents a plan to help teachers and students work together to collaboratively solve problems in ways that are mutually satisfying.

This book reaffirmed my own thinking - behavior is telling us something. Usually unmet needs are at the core of challenging behavior. And working with kids (instead of forcing things on them) will help solve the problem and diminish the behavior.

Meeting needs - helping kids develop skills - helping kids discover other tools and other ways to act - great goals that every teacher can support. That's been my goal all along. This book just helped me rethink how I was doing it and what I could do differently.

As I work with kids from now on, I will look for ways to talk with them and discover their concerns. Not just impose my concerns or my solutions. Working WITH kids, not ON them.

Inspiration from the Blogosphere - 7/14/14

Here are some things that caught my attention this week. I can see all of these becoming a part of my classroom.

Salt Painting (Jojoebi Designs) - Glue design, sprinkle salt, paint with watercolors. I see lots of opportunities for exploration and creativity.

Forensic Science for Kids (Lovable Learning) - Put together a kit to explore forensic science techniques.

Fine Motor Math Game (Pre-K Pages) - Homemade cubes, beans, chenille stems - counting practice...and maybe finding patterns.

DIY Play Dough Toys (Kids Activities Blog) - It's not often that I want to immediately do what a blog post contains. This one made me want to go to the 24-hour Walmart at midnight to get outlet covers. We're definitely trying this.

Spin Art Rocks for Kids (Meri Cherry) - I've seen using a salad spinner to make paintings - and even paint t-shirts. But I haven't see the rock idea.

I liked each of the above ideas because they repurposed or reused items in new ways. I always enjoy that.

I've also been following the Challenging Behaviors book study, collecting those posts on my book study page. Some great stuff in those posts.

And I saw this post about challenging behaviors, too: Perspective - A Powerful Tool for Challenging Behaviors (Not Just Cute)

Anything that really inspired you this week?

Yes I Used One

I've been reflecting. Two things have intersected at this moment to create this blog post. Currently some blog friends are doing a book study on challenging behaviors. So I've been thinking about my year and the challenging behaviors I had. And then #kinderblog14 challenged me to write THAT post that has been brewing. I didn't have this post in my drafts folder but it's been lingering in my mind for a while - a long while. Then Pernille Ripp has been posting about her classroom. (Yes, I know that is a third thing.) And I've been thinking about next year - how my classroom needs to function. Since my principal cited classroom management as an area that needs improvement. (A fourth thing. What can I say? Everything in my brain becomes a mash-up.)

So - the point - I have been using a behavior chart* in my classroom. There. I said wrote it.

I haven't written it before now because...well...I don't like admitting it. And I'm afraid of what you are thinking about me right now. But, there it is.

Last year was, well, my first year. So I struggled with creating the classroom environment I wanted. In the middle of the year, I came across the clip chart idea and decided to try it. I liked this particular version the best because you could go up and down - you could have those second chances and recognize a child's hard work in self-control. It worked okay. But it wasn't the tool I wanted for my classroom. I wanted a classroom more like Mrs. Ripp's. So I didn't put it up in my classroom for the beginning of the year.

And then I was displaced and moved to another school. Two weeks in.

Someone helping me found the clip chart in my boxes of stuff and placed it on the wall. I thought about it and noticed that it matched what the other teachers in the school were doing. So I used it. Not as thoroughly as it should be, I think. Because I was still struggling to create a community environment and this didn't seem to fit in.

I used lots of other techniques and this became just another tool in the system. (Not a very effective one but often a desperate one.)

But it bothered me. I knew which clips would go down regularly. I knew which clips would probably go up. It was hard for me to "reward" a child for doing what was expected. We should reinforce meeting expectations but this more visual/tangible way didn't seem just right to me.

This chart didn't/doesn't fit who I am as a teacher - it clashes with my philosophy.

But I still used it. Even as I watched it not work for me and my students.

So I'm kicking it. If When I have my new classroom, I'm going to work to build a strong community. I'm going to keep trying to practice ways (that have worked for me in the short run in the past) to put the responsibility for behavior management back in the hands where it belongs - the kids themselves. I cannot manage them; I can give them the tools they need to manage themselves.

And, let's face it, most behavior issues arise because of what I am doing to create the learning environment. When I'm struggling with attention or off-task behavior, usually I'm not engaging them in the learning appropriately. Should a student move a clip because the environment isn't meeting his needs? Hmm.

So I'm changing. I'm going to give kids the tools they need to self-manage and adjust the environment as needed to fit their needs. How will I do that? I'm still working and thinking on that. But the clip chart won't be in my room this year.


*Note: If you use a behavior chart and it works for you, great. It doesn't fit with my overall philosophy.

As Long As You Have a Teacher Who Cares

My professor in one of my classes was musing about challenges in the classroom these days. After we had discussed a few things, he acknowledged that things can be difficult.

Then he said these words: "But there's always hope as long as you have a teacher who cares and who is willing to try new things."

I quickly began typing those words, so I could remember them. But he continued. He said my name: "As long as Scott cares for his students, there will be at least one good thing each day. It's when he gives up, when he thinks that the students are no longer worth it...that's when we have a problem."

I sat there almost stunned.

I know why he used me as an example. I'm the only one in the class that is currently in a classroom.

And I know why those words came out of his mouth. I needed to hear them.

I needed to hear them that day. I needed to hear them for the rest of the week I would have.

As I type this, I am on a personal day from school, trying to think through some things and adjust for next week.

On some days, I'm completely opposite from the teacher I want to be. I feel like I have a couple of kids that hijack the learning from others. I've felt at the point of just giving up.

But those words - As long as Scott cares for his students - pop back in my head. I do care. The ones that need my care the most, the ones that I want to reach the most, are the same ones that cause the most disruption.

Then I read this post about what students remember. I worry about what they will remember - the caring me or the frustrated me.

Yesterday, as I cleaned up spilled water, one boy said to me: "Mr. Wiley, you know things. When something happens, you find a way. You figure things out."

I'm trying, buddy. I'm trying to find a way.

And I'm looking for that one good thing each day.

Inspiration from the Blogosphere This Week

Here are things I've tweeted, linked to, or posted to Evernote this week. (No, not pinned. I don't do Pinterest.)

DIY Junk Bingo Game (Teach Preschool) - Deborah posts a terrific idea. I'm going to figure out a way to do this with my second graders.

12 Awesomely Easy But Incredibly Ugly Indoor Activities for Kids (What Do We Do All Day?) - Indoor activities that kids do my themselves. According to the blogger, these may be ugly but they're awesome. I agree.

Storing and Organizing Independent Reading Books for Students (Clutter-Free Classroom) - Oh, does my classroom need to be clutter-free. I certainly enjoy reading about and saving ideas to make that happen. These ideas are great for getting a handle on students' independent reading. I'm going to implement some of these. (Honest, I will.)

DIY Notepads (Make, Take & Teach) - I love a good DIY/reuse and recycle idea. This one has lots of possibilities. I really like having the adhesive recipe.

Stretching Sounds in Words (Mrs. Jump's Class) - I've been looking for simple techniques and strategies for helping my struggling readers. I really like Stretchy. (And I think I need some wands. Wait! There are some in my garage right now!)

Why You Shouldn't Respond When a Difficult Student Has a Good Day (Smart Classroom Management) - Getting a handle on classroom management has been a challenge for me...especially lately. This post really made me think about some of my responses.

12 Half-Truths Pundits Say to Teachers (Education Rethink) - John always makes me think and rethink. His post has some great thoughts about reformers and their comments to teachers.

Top 12 Hilarious Teacher Jokes (Teach Hub) - And something just for fun!

An eclectic mix - but I guess I'm an eclectic reader.

What post did you save, tweet, link to (or pin) that I need to read?

Not Enjoying Yet

I knew when I chose ENJOY as my word for 2014, I was asking for trouble. And that's happened. Since we've started back to school, it seems that things have felt just about everything but enjoyable.

My kids seems more ramped up and less attentive. Less interested in working or paying attention or doing anything but what they want.

Yes, I know they are 7 and 8 years old. Yes, I know that kids are like that. But things seem a level higher on the challenge scale. Of course, the temps have been crazy cold and they are cooped up all the time (in school and out of school).

I have had some warm fuzzies and small triumphs. I have enjoyed some of the things that are happening. But Thursday - at one moment - if there had been anyone...ANYONE... that could have stepped into my classroom, I would have left for the day. (I know, terrible teacher.)

So, I vented and fretted and worried. I pondered that whatever is going on in the classroom is, at the root, my fault. My responsibility. But generating motivation and interest is hard. Maybe my skills aren't up to it yet.

On the way home, I continued to think about things; actually I just began to really dig in and think about solutions (other than being "sick" and a sub coming in). I need to listen to what the kids are telling me and how I can address that. And that doesn't mean we just cut math and spend the afternoon on games on the computer. I need to find ways to keep things moving. I need to work with individuals to find out what can help them focus and concentrate. And I need to get things together so those who are on track don't get penalized by those who aren't.

I need to regroup. Recognize the small moments when things happen that feel right and are right. I'm having some challenges. But I do care about these kids. They deserve the best I can give. I still have things to try and successes to enjoy.

Guess I'll go back.

Reminders and Routines

I wasn't worried about handling a group of kids in my first grade classroom. Turns out, I should have been. It's been a struggle to keep kids on task and engaged. It's the most challenging part of what I've had to do. It's the area I most need to improve based upon my observations/evaluations.

I know it's an issue...it's frustrating to me...we've been working on it...things are better...but not quite there...well, you know the rest. My principal assures me that all new classroom teachers struggle with it.  But I'm determined that things will improve and they have.

We've had to refine some procedures and adjust a few others. I'm still finding out the best ways to do some things. And we must continue to practice what to do over and over. I still - just this week in fact - have students who will bring their completed work and thrust it in my face (no matter what else I'm doing or who I'm talking to at the time). "Is this what you do when you're finished?" I'll ask. "No," she/he will reply. "Well?" I say. And they will take things to where they should go. Often this is after I have told/reminded the class what to do with work when completed.

Sometimes I'm amazed that I need to keep reminding the kids what they need to do. After all, expectations are the same every day. Walking in the hall quietly is the expectation every time we do it (and we do it several times a day). Everyone talking at once means that we cannot hear what's said by anyone. But we still do it. I'm often reminding them to write names on papers or work quietly or raised a hand to ask a question instead of repeatedly calling my name. I know they are only 6 but shouldn't they be able to remember some of this stuff?

Then I saw this in the mall the other day.

If adults must be reminded not to put a child in the bag on the back of a stroller, then I guess first graders need reminders of their voices and their hands.

Things will be better next year. My wife and my first grade colleagues agree. As one said, "You will know all those little things that need to be taken care of from the first day." And, of course, I'll be there in charge and ready to go on the first day. Right now, I'm making a list of some procedures to adjust and new ways of handling some things. I'll be ready.

Sometimes It's the Little Things

In my university class, the professor has said more than once, "95% of the problems you have were created by you." And I know that's true.

I've been struggling with classroom management. In fact, I've been struggling with just keeping the noise level at decent decibels. (Less than the sound of an industrial manufacturing plant would be nice.) My principal tells me that classroom management and pacing of teaching are the two things that most new teachers struggle with. And I have been. I know that the things I did at the beginning of the year (and since then) have contributed to the issue. I've "taught" them to do this and I'm working on adjusting it.

In the past couple of weeks, I attended training related to classroom management and made some adjustments. Because my class is full of talkers (and the things I've been doing have apparently been contributing to that), I'm working on them to raise their hands before speaking. That way we can have a reasonable discussion without 17 voices speaking at once. Calling out, repeatedly saying my name, talking over each other, walking up behind me to ask a question - all things we're working on to make our classroom work a little better, to get things in better shape.

This past week was rough. Probably the roughest I've had since August. I felt my patience worn completely through. I did use a loud voice a few times. I was exhausted and felt a little defeated by Friday. 

And then...Friday afternoon as we were having a discussion, a tiny glimmer. One of my very social and vocal girls started to speak, stopped herself, and raised her hand. I called her name and she made a comment. Then she said, "Mr. Wiley, I started to call out. But then I stopped and raised my hand."

I smiled. "I saw that," I told her. "Thank you."

Sometimes it's the little things that give you hope. Maybe things can be different. 

It Worked!

I'm still working to get some things in place with my new first graders. My class has a lot of social animals...and they love to talk. It's been challenging to get them to work more and talk less. And in the hallway - where we must walk quietly - it's been tough.

So I racked my brain for ways to help us be more successful. I adjusted a couple of things in the classroom. (We're having centers in which kids can talk to one another while working - without my constant reminders to remain quiet.) But I still was trying to figure out what to do about walking quietly in the hallway.

I remembered reading about Quiet Spray in the blogosphere. But I didn't have a spray bottle in my classroom. So I grabbed a small bucket and created Quiet Powder.

I had purchased the small bucket at the Target dollar spot. I used a large sticky note but taped it on so it would stay. As we lined up, I told the kids that I had Quiet Powder. I told them that I would sprinkle the invisible powder on them to help us all walk quietly in the hallway. Invisible? Of course. This is what was in my bucket.

"Do you think it will work?" I asked.

"Yes!" they said.

I walked down the line, dipping my hand in the bucket and "sprinkling" it on their heads. I sprinkled a little on my head, and began to whisper. "Here we go," I said softly.

We walked out of the door and down the hall. Silently. We walked all the way through the school to the art room. Silently. Never had this happened before. I was flabbergasted.

When I picked them up from art, I sprinkled more on their heads. We walked back to the room quietly.

Later, we were walking in the hall. My kids kept talking and I had to remind them several times. "We're having difficulty remembering to walk quietly," I said.

"You didn't use the powder," they said.

You can bet I will every time from now on.

(I used it again today as we left to go to PE. It's still working!)

I've struggled a little from time to time making this transition. And I sometimes feel unknowledgeable about so many things. But seeing something like this work helps remind me that I do know things about teaching kids.

Yes, I know that I do. But it's nice to connect and see progress!

Give 'Em a Break

Today driving along on the interstate, I became frustrated with the driver in front of me. He wasn't doing anything wrong, just not doing things the way I wanted.

As I thought about that driver and my reaction to it, this thought surfaced: "You don't know what he is dealing with." I pondered that. That driver may be having a bad day or dealing with some serious issues. I didn't know what was going on in his life. And, if I did, I would probably treat him differently, or at least feel differently about the situation. (My reflective nature strikes again.)

As I continued to think about this, the image of one of the kids in my class popped into my head. I just learned something about her. She daily is dealing with something that I was unaware of. And that set me to thinking about relationships between teachers and kids.

Often I hear teachers talking about kids...the kids that frustrate them. I do that, too. But I don't know what that child is dealing with in his life. Maybe things are unsettled at home. Maybe he has an unseen or undiagnosed disorder. Or maybe he didn't get enough sleep. Or maybe his older brother or younger sister upset him. Or whatever. Sometimes I need to relax and try to assess the situation. What can I do to make things more smooth? Or maybe I just need to relax and let some things go. Yes, I need to deal with behavior that is destructive or persistent. But sometimes I just need to take a deep breath and go with the flow.

No Labels

Lately I've been thinking about reputation--specifically what my reputation is among my co-workers...how people view me and what they think of me. And, as I thought of that, my reflections turned toward preschoolers and how they acquire reputations. Immediately "G" sprung to mind.

Several years ago I was teaching in a church and G's name would be whispered among the preschool teachers. "You are going to have G next year." "Watch out for G." "I'm exhausted. G was here today." When G was in my class, I did discover that sometimes he had challenging behavior (but what preschooler doesn't?). But we learned more about each other and usually his behavior could be handled and we would move on.

Once, in a classroom with another teacher, G was playing in the blocks center. He pulled cars from his pocket and began to play with them. Of course, the other kids wanted to use them, too. "Sure," G said and offered his cars to others. He even left the center to play elsewhere but the cars remained.

Since the emphasis for the day was working together, the teacher decided to send notes home to all the parents. On each note, she wrote, "___ was kind today and worked with his friends by ___." G's note included how he shared his cars. G's mother arrived last and saw the note with his name on it. With a heavy heart, she opened the note to read what had happened in class. Then, almost with tears in her eyes, she said, "You mean, he was good today?"

So often we peg kids with a specific reputation (deserved or not). As I thought back to my time with G, I realized that often he was "good." He did present challenges but he wasn't "bad" all the time. That's just all his mother heard...and all teachers would say among themselves.

I've decided not to listen to other teachers. Well, I'll take whatever they say into account so I can be ready for any new challenges. But I want to give each child I encounter an opportunity to build a solid relationship with me without any excess baggage. I want to give each child a clean slate, a new opportunity to create who he is in my classroom. After all, isn't that what I want when I meet someone new?

I tell other teachers that I practice the "Las Vegas" rule in my room. "Whatever happens there, stays there." If behavior is a constant issue, I'll meet with parents and talk about what to do. If I need some guidance, I'll ask a fellow teacher or other leader. But I don't want to spread a reputation (good or bad) about a kid. What happens in my classroom is between the child and me. And that's where it should stay.

Kids Quotes

On Facebook, I often cite some of the things that I hear in my classroom. Here are some of the things I have heard this year...and what we can learn from them.

Me: "You can have a couple of cookies." 
Child: "That means 10, right?"
Define terms. Make sure everyone understands what you mean. Sometimes the words I use are confusing or not really understandable. Maybe I need to use specific terms rather than something general.

Child (looking at kids using the glue guns): "You're letting them use THAT?"
It's okay to try something unexpected and maybe a little risky. Everyone learns more and had fun discovering what to do and how to do it.

Child 1 (randomly opening the Bible): "Psalm 9:3. Keep your baby safe." 
Child 2: "You can't REALLY read, right?"
Always clarify the situation. Too often I jump into a situation without clarifying what's happening. If a child seem frustrated with an activity, I want to solve it for him instead of offer some simple guidance that would help him think of how to solve it himself. After all, the one doing the work is the one learning. If I do the work of solving the problem, who is learning?

Child: "Sometimes my brain forgets stuff."
Allow for lapses in judgment. Sometimes a loud voice is just excitement. A flying block may be the result of a catapult and not a throw. I can redirect behavior and remind when things get rowdy. I don't need to overreact at misbehavior. Sometimes we just forget.

Child: "Take a picture of my building. Then you can put it on YouTube."
Technology is a part of our lives now. I can use it in appropriate ways to create resources, communicate with parents and kids, and connect with other teachers.

Child: "If you wanted to cut bamboo, you would need to use one of those...uh, things that look like a sword."
Don't be afraid to jump in and try something...even if you end up not knowing all the details. Have you ever created a game that got out of hand? (I just did that. But that's another blog post.) Have you sung a song or started an activity that somehow didn't end up like you planned? Don't try to plan every detail. Sometimes the surprises are wonderful. And sometimes they make great fodder for your blog so others can learn from it.

Child: "My favorite color is green. And yellow. And I like red. I like all the colors."
Keep your options open. Have you ever said, "I will never _____"? Or "I will always ____." Well, things change and adapt. I do have some non-negotiables. But those are broad foundations in my classroom. I've learned that, depending on the group of kids, the time of year, and my general mood, I'll do something that I vowed I'd never do.

Child: "Pray for my grandmother. She's 93 and she might die."
Teacher: "Has she been really sick?"
Child: "No, she's just old."
Accept facts. Preschoolers are noisy and move a lot. Sometimes they make messes. But they can help clean them up. They learn through doing and through experimentation. And they haven't been in the world for very long. Accept them as they are and go with it.

Child 1: "I haven't gotten any Valentines Day presents yet." (on Feb 13)
Child 2: "Tomorrow I'll make a heart and give it to you."
Child 1: "I'd rather have some candy...or a doughnut."
Be specific in your expectations. I try to communicate exactly what I want the kids to do. In cleanup, I specify the jobs I want a child to do. I give parameters but not too many rules. If something is really popular, I may need to say, "Five more minutes and then it's another friend's turn." Giving specifics helps the child understand exactly what I'm thinking. And helps keep everyone from being frustrated.

Child: "I can pick up my brother. He's 8 and I'm 5. He weighs 60 pounds."

Celebrate everything. We celebrate lost teeth...and teeth coming back in. We cheer when we have more boys than girls...and when we have more girls than boys. (Well, everyone may not celebrate each of those!) We talk about birthdays and new houses and new siblings. We clap when we remember details of a story. Whatever the day, something can be celebrated.

"Sometimes My Brain Forgets Stuff"

Photo by Dunechaser on Flickr.com

"S" finished her collage and began to print her name. "Is it ie or ei?" she asked. After Mrs. Cindy answered, "S" said, "Sometimes my brain forgets stuff."

Her statement has been in my head all week. And the topic that her statement keeps bumping against is discipline - guiding behavior - that continuing balance of helping kids work well together in a classroom and allowing kids to act like kids. Some of my fellow teachers get really frustrated because they must continually remind kids of "the rules" and they must keep going over the same things again and again.

That really doesn't bother me. Sometimes their brains just forget stuff. In the excitement of building or making or discovering or playing, the brain just can't remember to keep the voice from being too loud. Or the feet from moving quickly from one place to another. Or the mouth from blurting out what the brain knows. They just forget.

Now, sometimes I must deal with behavior - redirecting it or channeling it. Sometimes a break is needed, to get out of the midst of a situation. But, overall, I nudge and remind and suggest and reflect. And brains remember to move safely through the room or talk in a quieter voice or wait for someone else to finish  before speaking.

Loosen up. They're only 5 (or younger). Their brains forget.

(And so does mine.)