It's Started Again

First day picture

School started this week for me. Kids came for a half day on Thursday. I got to meet my new group of first graders.

It was a good day. Actually, it was the first time I did the first day of school. Last year, I was technically a volunteer for the first few days of school until we could get the red tape taken care of for me to me officially hired. So a substitute teacher led the activities. (I learned a lot from her.)

I was nervous and excited about the day with the kids. I didn't feel like I was quite ready but the day went okay.

I didn't get everything done that I had planned. We still need to talk about some procedures (and practice the ones we learned again).

I think I can remember all their names. Six kids go by names different from the ones on the class list. (But I can't complain about that; I have the same problem since I'm called by my middle name.)

Our school has a new principal who is doing some things differently. Change is always a little stressful. Not bad, just stressful.

The school is implementing a school-wide discipline plan - and some of the plans are not what I would choose myself. But I can work within the new system. (Several times this week I've had my change initiative challenged...but I'm working on seeing things as opportunities.)

My room looks a little bare - but that's because there's room for the work we will create together. I want to be more intentional in what goes on the walls.

I loved learning about the new personalities that are in my room. I just got a taste and I can't wait to learn more.

As we began talking together, I said to them: "I am so excited to see you. I have been waiting for you to come to school." A boy responded: "YOU HAVE???"

Yes, I have. I am truly excited about this year. I can't wait to see what happens.

Inspiration from the Blogosphere: Next Year

As I take a break, I'm reflecting and pondering the past year and next year. I always see great ideas and inspiration. Here are some things I'm thinking about using next year.

Genius Hour - The idea of a genius hour is providing time for kids to work on whatever they want. I want to find a way to include some of this self-directed play/learning in each week's schedule. Here are a few posts related to this idea.

• "Genius Hour" in Kindergarten (The Way I See It...)
• Yes! Genius Hour in Kindergarten! (CanTeach)
• Ten Minute Play Challenge (Matt B. Gomez)

Tinker Box - I want to add a box with a variety of items that kids can use in any way they choose. Maybe we'll use the box during the genius hour/play time. Or maybe we'll use it in other ways. This idea was inspired by this post from Education Rethink.

• Junk Drawer in a Box (Education Rethink)

Early Finisher Board - I often have kids who finish work quickly. They are looking for what to do next while others are still working. Next year I want to have a system to keep all kids busy, using all time productively. This idea is one I want to adapt and use.

• Early Finisher Board (Teaching in the Early Years)
• Early Finisher Board product (Teachers Pay Teachers) - I will probably come up with my own stuff but purchasing this is always an option.

Exit Tickets - I'm reading lots about exit tickets. I wasn't able to implement them in ways like I wanted this past year, but we're doing to be doing more of this in the coming year. I like the stoplight idea for exit tickets.

• Stoplight Exit Tickets (Timeout and Tootsie Rolls)

Interactive Journals - I want to do many things to revamp our journaling, to make it more productive and lead to progress in writing; to provide more feedback (both for me and for students); to make it an engaging experience for students. I read about interactive journals in several places. I experimented with this a little this year, but not a successful as I know it could be. Matt's posts about this continue to inspire me.

• Interactive Notebooks (Matt B. Gomez)
• Interactive Notebook Example Pages (Matt B. Gomez)

A couple of other inspirations.....

• First Day of School Photo Frame
• Lisa's Newbie Lounge

Tinker Day

I am taking a break during June. This is a quick scheduled post on happenings from our first grade year.

Each afternoon during the last week of school, the first grade has a special day. Kids can bring designated materials from home to play with and use. One day is Tinker Day - kids bring puzzles and building materials to use. I took my pipe builders. First graders enjoy these as much as younger kids.

My first Tinker Day seemed to be a success!

Takeaways

This past week we had field day. The games ended early, with rain pouring down. A few parents and grandparents gathered in the classroom...waiting to have lunch with the kids. I did the main thing that I learned to do this year - I rolled with the changes and made a quick plan.

We've been reading folk tales, legends, fables, and so forth the past couple of weeks. A few days ago, we read "The Three Cabritos." I had decided we needed to read "Three Billy Goats Gruff" and do a comparison. I read the book the students (and adults). My kids told me some similarities and differences. The we moved on to prepare for lunch.

One grandfather came up to me and told me that he had heard his own first grade teacher read the same story...60 years ago. He told me her name and some other memories of her. His comments got me to thinking. Our year is winding down. We've had challenges and fun times. I began to think about what I hoped my class would remember and take away from this year.

I hope they think of their first grade teacher as an adult who listened to them. I tried to have times they could just talk, both individually and in our group meetings. When there was a problem, I tried to take a child aside and listen to what was happening, what was in their heads. I didn't do this every time, or even as much as I should probably. I did use my loud voice at times. I did say, "Not now" from time to time when they wanted to say something. But I tried to have an overall atmosphere of listening and talking. I hope they remember that and not the other stuff.

I hope they remember that making mistakes is okay. And, when we make mistakes, we do what we can to fix them. I hope they remember the times I admitted my mistakes and worked to correct them, and forget the times I didn't. I hope they know that mistakes are not the end of everything, that mistakes are part of learning and part of risk. That trying and thinking and doing and experimenting (no matter if you're wrong) are important parts of life.

Ultimately I hope they know they are capable...and cared for. Cared for because of the individuals they are and not for what they know or do. (I've learned the same lessons from them.)

Ups and Downs

Monday the principal came in for my last observation/evaluation for the year. I didn't know he was coming this time. Things seems to go well. It wasn't the most exciting series of learning activities I've ever done. But the kids were with me and the classroom worked really well.

Tuesday felt like a major FAIL. My kids have been a little crazy lately. I guess spring fever has sprung. We have three weeks (yes 3, yikes!) left in this school year. Everyone was talking and I was a little tired of the battle.

An educational consultant picked the afternoon to enter my room to observe. She's been working with our school all year - and she has visited me before and talked with me to give some helpful suggestions. She watched as I struggled through a reading lesson and made a shift to math.

She asked if she could model something. Sure, I replied.

She said, "Boys and girls, I want you to take out your white boards. Do it silently."

They were completely silent. And continued to work that way for a while.

I felt completely defeated...completely inadequate...completely deflated.

After a few minutes, she turned the class back to me and we continued the lesson. They were working pretty well.

That afternoon, as I drove home, I was just frustrated. I'm trying as hard as I can. And someone can just step in and do a better job. Hmm.

It's hard when you are where you think you should be and it doesn't seem to work.

But I went back today - ready to start over. The day was better. And we worked through a school security threat that impacted just about everything in our day.

This afternoon, several kids came and told me: "You are the best teacher." "You are great!" "Even if you are a screamer, you're the bomb." (Guess I've been using my loud voice recently.)

The notes, the hugs, the affirmations. Today definitely didn't feel like a fail. Guess I'll just take it one day at a time, ups and downs and all, in this first grade adventure.

Listen: My Amazing Kids

My word for this year is LISTEN. I'm working on listening and responding as I teach and learn.

As I began this year of listening, I knew I would want to listen to all kinds of voices. After all, if I'm going to learn, I need to hear from all kinds of sources. In that first post, one source I listed was the kids themselves. I've been trying to listen to them. They've told me they like to move. They've told me that I sometimes spend too long on something. They've told me that I can be a pretty good teacher on some days. (Usually they tell me these things through their actions not words.)

Today we began our science unit on solids and liquids. My district sends us science kits to use - kits with teaching plans and all the stuff you need. It's great. Today I paired the kids up - each pair got a tray with a steel ball and a plastic spoon.

The pairs explored their two items and discussed how the items were alike and different. I made a chart so we could discuss their ideas.

As I listened to them and their ideas, I was amazed. My kids continue to surprise me. I love all of the differences they listed. We started with these, since it was easier.

"spoon is flat; ball is round" - Listening to him talk, I think he was trying to talk about the spoon being more 2-dimensional and the ball 3-dimensional. We added "sphere" as we discussed.

"You can see what you are wearing..." - The ball was very reflective, almost like a mirror. In the spoon, you could see yourself but you were blue since the spoon was blue.

Some really great ideas!

Then we moved on to similarities. Again, their ideas really surprised me.

"spin" - With a little torque, both will spin on a table.

"noise" - If you drop them, they will both make sounds. (The ball is much louder.)

"zero points" - No corners; both are curved/rounded.

And - for the record - they said "solid," not me. I have introduced the concept to them.


In recent days, as I have the great fortune to listen to their ideas, they have surprised me several times.

We were reading a story in our reading books. We were discussing how illustrations help us better understand the text. One girl said, "And we can make an inference. He didn't tell us about this but we can look at the illustration and make an inference." Wow. Someone was listening in recent weeks when we talked about inferences. Wow.

We read a story about bugs "hiding in plain sight," blending to match rocks or leaves or other surroundings so they would be safer. As we talked, I asked what we could learn about bugs from this particular story. A few kids said things about bugs hiding and so forth. Someone said, "Some bugs use camouflage." Wow. I commented on such a great word. Later, in writing about bugs, several kids wrote about bugs camouflaging themselves. Of course we had several variations on the spelling - but I got it. Wow.

My kids are amazing. Listening to them helps me see how they are thinking. And I continue to be amazed that I get to be with them every day. What a lucky guy I am!

"My Life Is Ruined"

"Mr. Wiley," one of my friends said urgently. "I forgot my library book."

It was the day before our two-week break. We were going to turn in all books so we didn't need to keep track of them and remember them after the break. Well, a forgotten book happens. What can we do about it now?

"Okay," I said. "Remember to bring it back after the break."

I moved on throughout the room to assist with work and other questions. When I moved back to my friend a few minutes later, he sat with his head in his hands. He was whispering something. He was not doing his work.

I thought he was struggling with the work. "What is it, E?" I asked.

"My life is ruined," he said softly.

"Your life is ruined?"

"Yes," he said solemnly. "My life is ruined. I forgot my library book."

I leaned in close to him. "Don't worry about that. It is okay." He looked skeptical. I continued. "I will be at school tomorrow for a planning day. If you and Mom are out tomorrow, stop by the school and give me the book. I will take it to the library."

He thought for a minute, smiled, and began working.

His life ruined over a forgotten library book? I smiled at the thought later. But how many times do I think the same thing when something goes a little crazy in the classroom?

This didn't work. The day is shot. My teaching is bad. I'm terrible at this. My professional life is ruined.

I take my teaching responsibilities seriously. I want kids to succeed and excel. I want my classroom to be a place where they fall in love with learning. But it's not that all the time. I make mistakes. I fail.

But we can all learn from it. E did not bring me his book on my planning day. I hope he does not worry about it all during the break. I hope he dropped it into his backpack, ready for school when we start again.

And I'm going to drop some of my anxieties and worries. I'll still work to have the best class I can at this point. But I know that, even on the challenging days, my life isn't ruined. In fact, I can almost say it's never been better.

Listen: Give Me a Break

My word for this year is LISTEN. I'm working on listening and responding as I teach and learn.

I'm hard on myself. I want to be the best teacher I can be. And I've certainly fell short a few times (a LOT of times) this first year of my adventure in first grade.

There are so many things I didn't know. There are so many things I want to try, so many things I want to change, so many things I want to improve.

In my year of listening, I have been hearing people around me say one thing - give yourself a break. I've heard it from you, my blogging and tweeting friends. I've heard in from my colleagues on the first grade team. I've heard it from the best advisor I have - my wife. 

My usual reply: "I know, but...." I'm such a reflector. I think and think and evaluate and ruminate and think about what I did, what I should/could have done, what I will do next time. That's good, but it cannot overtake what is happening now. 

So this week, I decided to give myself a break. Hey, I'm a new first grade teacher. I've made it through three-fourths of the year. I'm still hanging in there and so are the students.

And they are actually learning stuff. Their reading has improved - sure, maybe everyone isn't at the "right" level yet...but they are progressing. (I think they may be at the "right" level for them at this point - at least most of them.) I listened as they explained what a table of contents is - they didn't know that before. I hear them call out, "Mr. Wiley, it's 1:30!!!" They didn't know time to half hour on our clock just a few weeks ago. I hear, "You're the best teacher ever!" just because we planted beans in cups of soil. Maybe I'm doing okay as a teacher.

I'll still reflect. I'll still make mistakes. I'll still want to improve. But I don't need to spend all of my commute home telling myself what a bad job I did that day. I'm a new teacher - learning how to make things work for me and my kids. So I'm going to give myself a break. I'm going to listen to those telling me that things will be better next year. Hey, I know they're better than the first week I was there.


The rest of the story--I thought about this blog post a few days ago and composed it in my head on my commute home. Then, at the end of the week, I had a FAIL. And I began to doubt that I should even do this post. But, I decided to give myself permission to actually make a mistake and learn from it. And I decided that this post should go on. I guess I can give myself a break.

Two Minds

This year in first grade has been like a Dickens novel - it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.... Well, maybe not the worst of times. But I have definitely struggled. It has been hard. I've been tired. But I know I'm in the right place. I hope I've made a difference in the lives of these boys and girls. I know they've made a difference in mine.

Yes, my lids have made it to 1st grade!

In all my previous experiences with teaching young children, I've been very hands on and exploratory. I think that's the way that kids learn naturally and I want to nurture that. But now, in a public school teaching academic stuff, I find myself doing other kinds of things. Telling rather than exploring. Using those sheets in the curriculum to add to the experiences with manipulatives. What I'm finding is that I definitely have two minds about things. And I think that's good.

My university class this semester has helped me begin to merge some of these competing (but not necessarily conflicting) ideas. (And, yes, I'm a student as well as a teacher at this point in my life - a challenge for my middle-aged mind!) Sometimes direct instruction is the "right way" - telling students what they need to know directly. Example: We've been working on time. It's hard to do much discovery to understand "o'clock" and "thirty" for hour and half hour.

Sometimes exploration and student-discover is the "right way." Example: exploring with different shapes and how they relate to one another. I watched a student figure out that 6 small triangles make up a hexagon - without any prompting from me.

Play and exploration and student discover can co-exist with pencil practice and minute math. I'm forging ahead in my adventure of truly becoming a first grade teacher. I see glimmers of brightness. I see times when I outright fail. Just like the kids I teach. As I said recently to one of my friends, "It's okay to make mistakes. We all make mistakes. That helps us learn what to do."

I'm merging my two minds to be the teacher I'm intended to be. I keep telling myself that next year will be so much better. But this year is okay, too. Even when it's not.

Sometimes It's the Little Things

In my university class, the professor has said more than once, "95% of the problems you have were created by you." And I know that's true.

I've been struggling with classroom management. In fact, I've been struggling with just keeping the noise level at decent decibels. (Less than the sound of an industrial manufacturing plant would be nice.) My principal tells me that classroom management and pacing of teaching are the two things that most new teachers struggle with. And I have been. I know that the things I did at the beginning of the year (and since then) have contributed to the issue. I've "taught" them to do this and I'm working on adjusting it.

In the past couple of weeks, I attended training related to classroom management and made some adjustments. Because my class is full of talkers (and the things I've been doing have apparently been contributing to that), I'm working on them to raise their hands before speaking. That way we can have a reasonable discussion without 17 voices speaking at once. Calling out, repeatedly saying my name, talking over each other, walking up behind me to ask a question - all things we're working on to make our classroom work a little better, to get things in better shape.

This past week was rough. Probably the roughest I've had since August. I felt my patience worn completely through. I did use a loud voice a few times. I was exhausted and felt a little defeated by Friday. 

And then...Friday afternoon as we were having a discussion, a tiny glimmer. One of my very social and vocal girls started to speak, stopped herself, and raised her hand. I called her name and she made a comment. Then she said, "Mr. Wiley, I started to call out. But then I stopped and raised my hand."

I smiled. "I saw that," I told her. "Thank you."

Sometimes it's the little things that give you hope. Maybe things can be different. 

I'm a Low-Key Teacher

Maybe it's because I'm a new teacher and don't have a lot of stuff. Maybe it's because, as a new teacher, I spend all my energy on instructional stuff. Maybe it's because I'm a guy. Maybe it's because I'm a middle-aged guy. Whatever the reason, I just don't do a lot of "cute" stuff.

I don't do a lot of decorating. My bulletin boards are covered with brown paper or black fabric (and the black fabric was there when I showed up). On the boards are photos of the kids, work by the kids, or "musts" (our weekly goals, the calendar, etc.). I do have posters on the wall but mostly of those are things that we've generated...or things that I put up at the beginning of the year so the walls wouldn't be bare. Decorating is exhausting for me. I tinker to try to get things just right - and everything takes longer than it should.

I'm okay with being the low-key, not very decorated, classroom and teacher. But sometimes I worry when I look at what other teachers have. Their rooms are covered with all kinds of stuff. (Most are 15+ year veterans.) Their celebrations, even ones they label as low-key, seem elaborate and sometimes even have tablecloths and decorations from the ceiling.

At our 100 day celebration, my door looked like this.

Here's a close up.

It had 80 100s at the beginning of the day. The (20) kids each decorated a 100 and added it to the door so we would have 100. That's all the decor I had. We did some fun things with 100 - counting and stuff. But not much cute decor or games or food. Just low-key.

The room next door? A 100-banner to walk through. Signs hanging in the hall that read "100 days smarter!" (Of course, she has a room mom that handles stuff like that. I don't.)

As I look at other first grade blogs (and browse Teachers Pay Teachers), I see lots of cute things. All the handouts or activity sheets or whatever have great clip art on them. I use some of the cute freebies I find online. But when I make sheets, usually there are only words, numbers, and blanks. Not a lot of cute.

Is that a problem? I worry about it when I see what other kids carry from their rooms. And what other teachers put in their rooms. Maybe I'm not doing enough. Maybe I need to be more like them to be a "good" teacher. (But, deep down, I think it's okay.)

My kids? Well, at each celebration we've had, I have heard a version of "This is the best day ever!" I guess low-key is okay after all.

What My Class Needs

This new adventure that I've had this year has been a little rough. I've been working to be the best new first grade teacher I can, but let's face it - I'm still a newbie. I am inexperienced at this. I'm learning so many new things. And - no matter how prepared I thought I was - the reality is always different.

Today I read this blog post by Jon Acuff. (I love Jon Acuff and his message. I read Quitter and loved it. In fact, it's part of the process I went through to get to this new adventure.) Jon's post really hit me - well, as I was driving to school after reading it, I kept reflecting on it and then it slowly dawned on me.

I need to remember those two words - More You. That's what I bring to the table as a first grade teacher - me and my own unique blend of experiences, knowledge, and "talent." That's what my classroom needs - more me. I have thought about this before (see this post), but I still struggle with what I "should do." So I entered the classroom today with the thought - bring more of me - in the back of my head.

I don't remember consciously thinking of this again during the day. But I did a few things in a different way. I went with what felt right at the moment instead of relying so much on my notes for the class activities. I took a deep breath and plowed on through. The quiet powder resurfaced for our trips in the hallway. Things felt "right."

At the end of the day, as I was walking to my car, I realized that I didn't feel as exhausted as usual. Oh, I'm tired, of course. But not as mentally exhausted and not as anxious. (Maybe getting some report card stuff done helped contribute to that feeling.) As I was driving home, the post and "more you" popped back into my head. And I thought that maybe today I was more me and less "should be."

So tomorrow - more me.

(See, I'm listening!)

Getting What You Wish For

2012 has been a year of changes for me. For a few years, I have been thinking about a change. I've been thinking about being in a classroom full-time, teaching young children and working to make a difference.

Well, in July, I got a call and an offer. Things had to be done and done quickly. But in the span of a couple of weeks, I radically changed jobs - and daily began learning in a classroom with 20 6-year-olds.

It's been challenging...and downright hard at times. More than once I've wondered if I was a little crazy. But I've never doubted that I'm in the place I should be.

You get what you wish for...but it's always different that you thought it would be. I know this is something I should have already known. And I did know it. But I'm a dreamer; I guess that's part of my reflective nature. I've learned a few things as I've lived this out in the past four months.

1. The real classroom is messier and grittier than the "ideal." I had a picture of what the classroom would be like and what I would be like as a first grade teacher. But things didn't pan out like I imagined. Kids didn't gather at my feet to read books and play quietly together. Kids push limits. Kids don't want to do the "right thing" all the time. Kids talk when you're talking and do things other than their work. Things don't always run smoothly. And you have fire drills 30 minutes before dismissal. And the educational consultant or principal walks into your classroom when everyone is hyped up from that last moving math activity you just did. Real kids are unpredictable and human.

2. It's harder than I expected but more rewarding than I expected, too. Kids tell me that I'm a great teacher at least once a week, even when I know I'm not. I get hugs daily, sometimes from the kid I never expected would hug me. I wanted to throw a party when one kid grasped that adding 0 gave you the same number you started with. Listening to kids read makes my heart soar every time. Reading that funky first grade writing makes me want to write even more.

3. No matter what you do, some things you are beyond your control. One girl came to my classroom and pushed every button she could. I discerned quickly that she wanted attention...and negative attention was as acceptable as positive attention. We worked through some difficult times and I was beginning to see signs that I was gaining her trust. Her behavior had changed, less acting out to get attention and more focus on learning. And then she moved to another school. I worried about what would happen but knew that I had done all I could while she was in my class. I must release whatever I cannot control.

4. I must keep remembering that I'm new at teaching first graders. I am reflective and I think that makes me a good teacher. But constantly picking apart what I'm doing and obsessing over what I don't know or didn't do isn't helpful. I need to learn and grow but also remember that I've only been a first grade teacher for four months - and my colleagues have been teaching for lots of years. I'll be so much better next year because of my experiences this year.

5. Go with your gut. Maybe not the best phrasing, but I've learned that I know a lot about teaching kids. And that the "right way" may not be the best way for my kids at this moment. Moving and freezing can be a great way to add. Punching while spelling words can help kids remember. Being noisy and messy are okay - as long as it doesn't become chaos. I need to trust my instincts more and the teacher's book less.

John Spencer's post Ten Ways to Deal with a Hard Year is an eloquent expression of lessons I've also learned this year so far. I'm learning so much - and hope the first graders are, too.

And People Wonder Why I Do This

I love teaching. I've been involved in teaching young kids for many (many) years. Even though this is my first regular, daily classroom - my first full-time teaching "for real" class - I have always been connected to kids and learning. I can't imagine my life without some connection to that.

And now, being with these kids every day, I know I'm where I need to be. Even on those days that seem like the wheels are falling off - well, usually it's the noise level is off the charts - I still know I'm doing what I am made to do. I just want to do it better.

People (those that don't know me very well, usually) often asked in the past why I would want to spend time with preschoolers or young children. I don't know why people don't want to do that. Yes, they are noisy and messy. (I am, too, sometimes.) Yes, they are needy. And there are days I contemplate changing my name so I don't have to respond to a chorus of "Mr. Wiley" that echoes through the room. But I do love it.

I love the funny things they say and the funny stories that always seem to happen to me. (Check out my Facebook page for some of those things, if you're interested.) Here are two photos that help explain why I do what I do.

Grading math papers I came across this. I took a photo because I felt that no one would believe me without proof.

In case it's hard to read, the problem asks "Explain how you found 10-6." The student wrote "I found it rihgt (right) here" with an arrow to the problem. (It's a true, undoctored photo!)

Yesterday, our morning message included spaces for the kids to fill in. (We're talking about sequence in stories and so forth.) Here's what they came up with - and I did no prompting.

Can you tell what they think is important? (We did do more than this. I promise!)

With material like this, why would I want to do anything else?

(And, of course, there are the fringe benefits: surprise hugs, being told that you are the best teacher ever, drawings, rocks, other small gifts, the brightening smile of a child, the light bulb moment when a child makes a connection. I'm a blessed man.)

Move! Freeze! Add!

I have a class that likes to move...and to talk. I've been trying to find some ways to channel these tendencies - rather than just squelch them.

And, along the way, I've discovered that my kids like to sing and like music. I decided to try and work that into what we've doing, too.

So we've been playing a moving math game.

I put on some upbeat music. Kids move around (in place or around the room). I stop the music (and usually shout Freeze!). Then I announce an addition problem: "Tell someone near you - what is 4 plus 6?" After a couple of seconds, I ask kids to tell me the total. Then we start the music again.

I know....this isn't a revolutionary idea. But it's working pretty well for me. Often I need to set up some reminders and parameters - no screaming - no moving with hands on a friend's shoulders - you must be able to hear the music as you move.

But kids are working problems in their heads - or on their fingers - and working together to get the solutions. I've been upping the numbers to get to 20. And I think next week we'll throw subtraction into the mix.

We play for a few minutes. Or a little longer. Or sometimes shorter if we get too rowdy too fast.

Not revolutionary. But definitely picking up on my kids.

Today I was searching the genres on Pandora - and I found a Club/Dance mix station. I think we may incorporate that in our next moving math session.

Sometimes I wonder what the other classes think of me. But the door is closed and the walls are thick. I don't think we're disturbing anyone else. And we ARE adding.

(P.S. After one moving math session, I brought out the spider counters. Things were really rowdy that day!!)

Observation

I had my first observation this week. I always get nervous, anxious, and all those "butterflies" feelings about stuff like this.

I stressed and worried about it. Then I put it to the side of my mind, thinking that whatever happens just happens. Then I worried that my principal would be so horrified about my classroom that he would fire me on the spot. Then I realized that I could only improve after a bad evaluation. (Actually, Cindy made me realize this.) Then I began to stress again.

Well, it's over now. And it went pretty well. As I think back over the time--before and after--here are a few things that I learned (or relearned).

• Being prepared is more than half the battle. This observation also evaluated planning, so I had to write out a complete lesson plan for the hour. And I had everything ready and at hand, moving more or less smoothly from one thing to the next. I need to be better prepared, more detailed in my day-to-day teaching.
• Variety is best. We used a book, played a game that included music, wrote individual answers on white boards, worked in pairs, drew pictures, did motions to remember the main point. We did stuff in a large group on our rug and at our desks. Lots of different things helped keep kids on task and drove home the main point. I need to make sure I use a variety of techniques as we learn each day.
• Know what the point is. I posted what we were learning, repeated it often, asked the kids to repeat it, and reinforced it throughout the different activities. I need to make sure the point is clear--to me and the kids--as we learn each day.
• Stuff always happens and you must just roll with it. The class phone rang and the office called a child to leave early. I had to get her stuff together and her out the door while maintaining the class (just like I do every day). The computer went to sleep mode and I had to get it back up to play the music for our game. Kids wandered (like they always do) and some lost focus. I need to be ready to roll with interruptions and distractions and move us all back to task (or just laugh when those things happen).
• At the end of the time, we were all still together, still in one piece, and still learning. Sure there were things that could have been better. There were things I could have done better. There were things I should have said (and maybe not said). But kids did learn. And we were able to build on it the next day again. I need to remember that nothing is ever perfect but usually is good enough.

I'll have a few more of these observations this year. And I'll get anxious and concerned again. But I'm determined to remember - whatever happens will happen and I can just do my best and learn from it. (And maybe eat some chocolate cake after it's all over!)

Two Months

Two months ago I "officially" became a first grade teacher.

I must say that I feel I'm growing into that role. I don't feel nervous or uneasy before school anymore (most days). I've learned a lot and continue to discover more things that I want to know.

I feel like some days we actually accomplish things.

I still have days that feel a little out of control, but those are fewer...or at least I tolerate them better.

I walked into my room the other day when we had a planning day. I looked around and thought, "I'm beginning to love this room." Oh, there are lots of things I want to do to make the environment better. There are many things I want to master...and help my kids master.

There are things that I know I need to improve. And (sometimes) I remember that there are things that I'm doing pretty well. (And, when I doubt it, the notes and hugs remind me.)

I love my new job.

Affirmation

Some days I feel on target as a new first grade teacher.

Some days I struggle and feel like I'm not accomplishing what I should.

Through it all, I get small affirmations - comments from friends, a child making a connection, a small note from a child, an unexpected hug.

The other day, I was gathering stories. I had told them to write a story about themselves. I found this.

Each day I know I'm just where I need to be.