Yes I Used One

I've been reflecting. Two things have intersected at this moment to create this blog post. Currently some blog friends are doing a book study on challenging behaviors. So I've been thinking about my year and the challenging behaviors I had. And then #kinderblog14 challenged me to write THAT post that has been brewing. I didn't have this post in my drafts folder but it's been lingering in my mind for a while - a long while. Then Pernille Ripp has been posting about her classroom. (Yes, I know that is a third thing.) And I've been thinking about next year - how my classroom needs to function. Since my principal cited classroom management as an area that needs improvement. (A fourth thing. What can I say? Everything in my brain becomes a mash-up.)

So - the point - I have been using a behavior chart* in my classroom. There. I said wrote it.

I haven't written it before now because...well...I don't like admitting it. And I'm afraid of what you are thinking about me right now. But, there it is.

Last year was, well, my first year. So I struggled with creating the classroom environment I wanted. In the middle of the year, I came across the clip chart idea and decided to try it. I liked this particular version the best because you could go up and down - you could have those second chances and recognize a child's hard work in self-control. It worked okay. But it wasn't the tool I wanted for my classroom. I wanted a classroom more like Mrs. Ripp's. So I didn't put it up in my classroom for the beginning of the year.

And then I was displaced and moved to another school. Two weeks in.

Someone helping me found the clip chart in my boxes of stuff and placed it on the wall. I thought about it and noticed that it matched what the other teachers in the school were doing. So I used it. Not as thoroughly as it should be, I think. Because I was still struggling to create a community environment and this didn't seem to fit in.

I used lots of other techniques and this became just another tool in the system. (Not a very effective one but often a desperate one.)

But it bothered me. I knew which clips would go down regularly. I knew which clips would probably go up. It was hard for me to "reward" a child for doing what was expected. We should reinforce meeting expectations but this more visual/tangible way didn't seem just right to me.

This chart didn't/doesn't fit who I am as a teacher - it clashes with my philosophy.

But I still used it. Even as I watched it not work for me and my students.

So I'm kicking it. If When I have my new classroom, I'm going to work to build a strong community. I'm going to keep trying to practice ways (that have worked for me in the short run in the past) to put the responsibility for behavior management back in the hands where it belongs - the kids themselves. I cannot manage them; I can give them the tools they need to manage themselves.

And, let's face it, most behavior issues arise because of what I am doing to create the learning environment. When I'm struggling with attention or off-task behavior, usually I'm not engaging them in the learning appropriately. Should a student move a clip because the environment isn't meeting his needs? Hmm.

So I'm changing. I'm going to give kids the tools they need to self-manage and adjust the environment as needed to fit their needs. How will I do that? I'm still working and thinking on that. But the clip chart won't be in my room this year.


*Note: If you use a behavior chart and it works for you, great. It doesn't fit with my overall philosophy.

A Photo to Represent 2013

I read about Kinderchat's Post-a-Day Challenge. While I will not be able to participate in the month-long challenge, I was intrigued by today's prompt: Post a photo to represent 2013.

BFF Wristbands made and applied by kids in my class

(This post is to be Wordless, so I'll forgo my reflections on the photo. But it's hard....)

Change Ahead

I've always thought of myself as an optimistic person. And I guess I am in public. When challenges arise, I look for the positive outcomes. When I see a child's behavior, I look for the great among the "not so great" behaviors.  For example, last year I told people, "My kids are so social. They like to talk about what they are doing." (Instead of saying, "Those kids will not be quiet!") And I meant it. I think it's great that kids want to talk about things and share their experiences.

But - inside - I often become a pessimist. Well, I say I'm practical. If something is changing, let's look for ways to be prepared for the worst. Note exactly a bad thing...but it can affect my overall attitude. This year we have a new principal. The principal who brought be to my new first grade adventure last year has been moved to a new school. In addition, he was a friend before he was my principal. Now we have a new one. And I'm worried...or...I'm thinking about possibilities under this change. What if the new principal doesn't like me or what I'm doing? What if she decides not to keep me on next year? (See, the year hasn't even started yet and I'm wondering about next year.)

This "practical" view of things can affect my work, or at least attitude toward what I'm doing. I am looking forward to a new year with (yes) a few changes - based on what I learned in my first year. I'm feeling more confident as a teacher of first graders. I really can't wait to see those kids in my classroom. But the inner dialogue of what "might happen" keeps intruding on that excitement.

So I want to change...change my thinking, change my self-talk. I've been working on seeing the great opportunities instead of pitfalls. Oh, I want to be prepared for whatever may come. But that doesn't mean that I need to dwell on these possibilities. I am going to have a fun and exciting year. (And if the new principal doesn't want me to come back next year, I'll deal with that in May. And look forward to the opportunities that may come with any future change.)

(This post is a part of #kinderblog13.)

Bragging

This week's #kinderblog13 prompt is to brag. to tell you the truth, it was easier to think about confessing than bragging. But, as I thought about it, I do lots of things well. Yes, even in first grade.

As I look back through my interactions with kids, I think I'm good at listening to my kids. (It so happens that this is my one word for 2013 - I've been trying to be more intentional in listening.) I interpret this in a couple of ways.

First, I like to have conversations with my kids. I listen to the things they tell me. I try to remember what they say - their favorite colors or pets' names. Kids need adults who will listen and pay attention to them, what they say. I've discovered that when I listen, the kids seem to trust more. They listen to what I say because I listen to what they say. No, things aren't all rosy. But if I listen...truly hear them...they sense that I care for them and will tell me all kinds of things. That makes me know how to connect to them and teach them.

Second, I listen to the kids' behavior. The group I had last year loved to talk and loved to move. They didn't tell me that. They showed me. So we played moving math games. They told partners or groups their ideas and answers before they told me. We would take moving breaks or dance breaks. I tried to incorporate the group's nature into what we did. Much better than fighting against it.

I'm more effective as a teacher when I listen to them - what they say and what they do.

(I still feel a little uncomfortable bragging.)

Confession

I'm blogging in response to the #kinderblog13 assignment. I need to confess something, share a secret. Well...here goes.

This past year I did things that don't align with my philosophy.

I'm a strong advocate for play and exploration. But I didn't always do that in my new first grade adventure. I felt I had to listen to others and do it "the right way" since I was in learning mode. I followed the book more than following my instincts and my heart.

I used my "loud voice" a few times...and even lost my temper. I've never done that with a group of kids before. No excuses - but I think the pressure of a new thing just got the best of me. Working with a group of very talkative, social kids was a challenge, sometimes too much of a challenge. I reacted in a way that focused on me and not on them.

I didn't enjoy myself enough. There were days when I felt the joy of being with the kids. And the excitement of seeing their discoveries. But too many days I worried about what I was doing and over-thought every activity. I felt more anxiety than joy. Maybe that's the way it is for a first teaching year. But it's not the way I want it to be.

I have a long way to go to be the first grade teacher I want to be. But, this year, I will teach in ways that meet my philosophy. I will have more joy and less worry. I will follow my instincts. I'll take a deep breath and tackle the situation.

I will be the teacher that I am made to be.