Accepting No

Can preschoolers know their own minds? Do they know when they want to do something and when they don't?

I've spent my entire teaching life growing in understanding young kids. And what I know at this point - they are people, too. They think differently. They may have odd reasons for what they do. But they do think and they do have reasons.

Often it seems adults have difficulty accepting no. A child says, "I don't want to do that" (either through words or behavior). And adults say, "Sure you do" (either in words or behavior).

Now, I understand that at times kids must do things they would rather not do. A classroom or a family or a society cannot function if everyone just does what he wants and ignores what he'd rather not do. If a child encounters this type of situation, he needs an adult to help him work through it and be successful. (I'll blog about that another time.)

But in our classroom, choice is a key component. And, when there's choice, there's always the opportunity to say no. No is an acceptable choice. If it's not, there isn't a choice and we should act as if there is.

My recent experience with four-year-olds brought this back to me. In this particular schedule, we had specific time when we went to other teachers for various activities. One day we were in the art room, working on a particular project. One child didn't want to do what was offered. Okay, that's the choice she made. But she had to stay with the rest of the group, watching or sitting or whatever. She didn't want to do that either. So there was a clash. The girl moved to another part of the room, fell on the floor, and began a pout.

Other teachers called to her, cajoled her, and told her there would be consequences if she didn't stop. She stayed in shutdown mode. Then we did what is usually the most effective. We focused attention on what others were doing.

Now, sometimes kids don't know how to connect back with the group after this type of incident. After a minute or two, I walked over to her and quietly asked her to stand up. I told her that I wanted to talk about why she was upset. I helped her stand and asked her to tell me what she was thinking. She chose to remain silent. But she was standing near the group, leaning against me. I didn't ask any other questions or try to engage her in conversation. After all, saying no to conversation should be an acceptable choice.

My plan was to let her relax, watch what was happening, be a part of the group, and find her own way back to connecting with us. She leaned against my leg and stood quietly.  I waited. In a few minutes, I planned to suggest she move closer to the group and sit with them. I wanted to offer assistance in connecting her back to the group and let her choose how to do that.

But then another teacher came over to us. The teacher began talking to the girl. The teacher commented on her shirt and asked questions. The girl remained silent. The teacher kept trying to draw words out of the girl. I felt the girl press back against me. I wanted to shout, "Step back!" but I felt that would be unprofessional. (I must admit. I also felt a little angry. The other teacher implied by behavior that I could not handle the situation myself.)

By this time, we had to go back to our regular classroom. We moved down the hall and into our space. The girl reintegrated herself into the group on the trip back to the room and was fully engaged in our next activity.

As you can tell by this long narrative, the incident has stayed with me. We should accept no. We should not force a child to respond when she clearly doesn't want to do so. Yes, I did go and talk with her after she had pouted for a few minutes. If she had shown me she wanted me to stop or go away--with words, sounds, or actions--I would have stopped and moved away.

Here's how I want to handle it when kids say no to a choice--
--Accept the no. ("If you do not want to do this, that's okay.")
--State what is not a choice. ("You can choose not to do this. But you must stay here with the group.") Only state something like this if it is a must. Most of the time, kids can choose not to do something and move on to do other things.
--Don't discount the choice or the child's feeling about it. Don't cajole the child to do it.
--Allow the consequences to happen. (If a child chooses not to paint, then he doesn't have a painting to take home.)
--Learn to listen to the child - both words and actions.
--Help a child find his way back when he gets a little out of control.
--Offer a choice only when prepared to accept NO as an answer.

All of these things may be blindingly obvious to you. These are things I regularly do; they are not new or different ideas for me. I just haven't thought about them so directly before.

Bottom line: NO is an appropriate response to a choice...just as much as YES.

No Two Children Are Alike

Is the classroom - the teaching - flexible? How do we allow children to be different and explore as they choose?

Check this post: They Are Not All the Same

They Do What We Do

Recently I saw a video that's making the rounds online. It's called "Children See, Children Do." In that video, children are doing exactly what the adults in their lives are doing - smoking, yelling at other drivers, gesturing, insulting others, etc. It was an unsettling thing to watch. (Search for it on YouTube if you'd like to see it.) But the video reminded me of something that I often say to other teachers. Children are watching and imitating adults.

That video came back to mind when I saw this photo from the classroom. Two small dolls sitting at a table with plates in front of them. Girls playing in our home center did this on their own. They are emulating the examples they've seen.

I remember on boy coming into my classroom (years ago) and walking straight over to the home center. He opened up the cabinet under the sink and lay down with his head in the cabinet. He pounded on the bottom of the sink and muttered to himself. Yes, plumbing problems at his house in the past week.

I've heard my words coming out of preschoolers' mouths. Words that I've said over and over...and now those words are being said to someone else. (Fortunately those words have been okay to repeat.) But every time it happens, I stop and think about what I've said recently. Would it be what I would want to be remembered for?

When I taught second grade, we were a noisy bunch. Everything seemed loud. Not yelling so much as just loud. One day, while explaining something, I actually listened to myself. I spoke loudly. I was projecting, to make sure everyone could hear. If things were a little noisy and unsettled, I spoke a little louder to make sure I could be heard. When I was excited (or trying to project enthusiasm), I would talk with a loud, punctuated voice. I was setting the noise level in the room - and it was on high. After that, I would try to keep my voice softer. If I felt my level rising, I would stop and take a breath and begin again. (Oh, not always. Probably not even most of the time. But intentionally whenever I could think about it.)

I must be the model of what I want to happen in the classroom. If I want kids to speak kindly to one another, I should speak kindly to every child and adult (!) in the room. If I want kids to listen when I tell a story, I should model what listening is when they are telling stories. If I want less interruptions, I should not interrupt them. If I want them to respect me, I must be respectful.

Yes, I know they are the children and I'm the adult. Yes, I understand that I know more about how things could work than they do. That's why I should be the example. If I want them to do as I say, I should do it, too.

And that also means apologizing to them when I don't.

Figuring Them Out

I've been with my new group of kids in my church kindergarten class for several months now. When encountering a new group of kids, I try to watch and learn about them. I want to know what they enjoy doing, what they like and don't like, how they interact. This group has been harder to figure out.

I had a group that loved blocks. We did all kinds of things in the blocks center. This group likes blocks but will ignore them, too, on occasion.

Car boat

I had a group that loved dramatic play. They wanted to do all kinds of things and would use their imaginations in lots of ways. This group likes dramatic play. But sometimes that center will remain empty.

Feeding the baby

I've had kids that love art. They want to create elaborate things from different materials. This group enjoys painting and drawing and creating. But at times they don't want to do it.

Collage

So what have I discovered about this group? They always surprise me.

Floor to window building

Chenille stem Christmas Tree

They enjoy trying new things, but usually aren't interested in doing it another week.

Independent writing

Building with matching cards

They like interacting with the adults. They will talk to me for a long time. They will come and join an activity if I'm sitting there for a while.

Rain water play

Take a picture of my baby!

They are interested in their own ideas. They will explore and try out what they want to do (and not really care what I planned for them to do). By the way, I love this about them!

Fork painting - a beach

fabric in the blocks center

Can we build the game on the floor?

Painting with oil - three at one time

They are curious and funny and energetic and loud and active.

It's Angry Birds!

Restaurant Words - taking an order

Making an ornament with beads and chenille stems

They are 5 years old. They like to play and learn.

And I'm learning, too.

Always a Surprise

Each year I am surprised by the kids I teach. I'm with 5-year-olds in my church class each year. But that doesn't mean that things are always the same. Each group of kids is different.

This week I was reminded of this again - in two different ways.

One of the favorite activities in our blocks center is using the toy cars. I put my collection of cars out and the kids (usually boys) pull out the cars, create roads, and begin to drive. (Sometimes we add tape, but that's a different post!)

This week I put out the cars and some paper roads. A couple of boys began to play. They built roads and structures for the cars. They drove a little but not much...not as much as I usually see.

Then another boy went over to the center. He began to build. He gathered cars together.

He told Mrs. Cindy, "Look at my car boat."

"Those boats are called ferries," Mrs. Cindy told him.

A little later I walked by. "Look at my car boat," my friend said. "I call it a car boat."

This group of kids did not build and drive as the other groups have done. They built car boats and other structures, incorporating the cars as needed. They did not follow my expectations (what usually happens). But they did create and experiment and learn.

In another part of the room, we had our annual activity for the first of December - decorating a tree for our home center. In the past this has been a popular activity. Kids like to staple and twist and create with the paper strips.

But the group this year were not as interested. They bent the chenille stems and used them on the tree but didn't touch the paper strips at first.

They were engaged in other parts of the room during most of the morning. Later Mrs. Cindy went over to the table and talked to girls bending chenille stems. She mentioned the paper strips. The girls made a few paper circles but that's it. Just a little experimenting before time to clean up.

This group did not become as engaged in this activity as other groups have done. They did not follow my expectations. They followed their interests (the chenille stems and other centers in the room). They were engaged as they chose. That's a win.

I think we adults get caught up in what should happen. Kindergartners in the past did this so the group now should do it. They should behave in this way or learn that way.

But THEY DON'T. Each child and each group is different. They are individuals. And we must be ready to teach as they are. We must adapt and follow as they lead.

That's how we make a difference in education today.

That Just Right Look

I love Pinterest. More than I should admit. So many ideas for all kinds of things. A great resource. But deceptive, too.

Many of the things I see on Pinterest look great. Perfect even. I see the same on activities I see on some blogs. Nice, neat, put together. And really not the work of preschoolers.

My favorite things are those things that look like a 5-year-old did them. (Substitute whatever age you teach here.) Maybe not perfectly aligned or balanced or exactly right. But definitely the work of the child.

I love the wonky frames we make each year. The unevenness and the abundance of stickers make them real and lovely. And they do not all look the same. These things look like my kids, all different and just right as they are.

I love when snowflakes are oddly shaped or split into two pieces. I enjoy seeing so many stamped shapes or paint strokes that the page is practically bursting. Those things show me that kids are exploring their own ideas, trying out things, wondering and experimenting and learning.

This time of year often seems to require that perfect look, that things look just right. But individual, off-kilter, wonky preschool creations are just right. Just right for each child.

Relax and bask in the imperfect just-rightness of teaching young kids.

Rae Pica Is in My Head

This summer I read and reflected on Rae Pica's book What If Everybody Understood Child Development? And I'm reflecting on it again as I participate in the book study with Early Childhood and Youth Development. So I guess it was inevitable: Rae Pica is in my head.

What I mean is that recently I hear about something and I think something like: "What? Why is that? Don't they know about child development?" And then I imagine "#AskingWhatIf" that appears with Rae Pica's tweets.

Here's something I heard that most recently triggered that response. A parent was talking about her preschool child's inability to get a sticker for being a good rester (behavior during rest time). Now, that's all I know. So my comments are not directed specifically at this situation, but are reflections on what I'm thinking. My comments are intended for broader consideration. (Okay, disclaimer over.)

First question that popped into my head: What are the expectations? What constitutes the appropriate behavior during rest time? Is the expectation that the child will go to sleep? Be still and quiet if not asleep? Staying in your own space even if moving? How is a "good rester" determined?

All preschoolers are not the same. Some need sleep in the middle of the day. (Heck, I need that sometimes.) Some have grown past that need. And that may vary from day to day, depending on how active things have been (or not been). So if the expectation is that every child will sleep, then most kids will fail on some days and some kids will fail every day. Hmm. Not really a fair expectation.

Remaining still and quiet even if not asleep? All preschoolers will probably fail that...and most adults I know will, too.

Second thought that hit me: These types of rewards are not very motivating. I recall what I've read from Ross W. Greene. Extrinsic rewards usually go to those who would do the behavior anyway and don't motivate others to change their behavior. (Rae's book addresses this, too.) This child obviously would like to get a sticker after rest time (and gets upset when he doesn't); but the promise of a sticker doesn't impact his behavior. Maybe he cannot meet the expectation (for whatever reason). Maybe the reward is too distant from the behavior to impact it. But overall, long-term, this reward system doesn't work.

Yes, I'm asking why and what if. I thought about these issues before. But now, Rae Pica is definitely in my head. And that's a good thing.

(If you haven't read Rae Pica's book, I recommend it.)

They Don't Know What We Know

Sometimes I think adults forget. We forget that we know a lot of things that we don't even realize we had to learn. It just seems like "common sense" to us.

We adults spread butter on bread without even thinking about it. Kids must learn how to do that.

Recently we made grilled cheese sandwiches in our class. Our kids practiced spreading butter. They had to manipulate the knife (and make their hands do those motions). They had to control where the butter went...and how it stayed (or didn't) on the knife. They had to evaluate if they had spread enough, covered enough of the bread. They had to look and see if there was a lot of butter in some places or only a little or none in other places.

Whew! That's a lot of thinking and evaluating and doing. (But with a tasty result!)

Well, we adults seem to remember that kids need to learn and practice and develop skills when we are talking about physical tasks. But sometimes when we get to mental tasks, we forget.

We have mastered addition and subtraction. At least we understand what it means to add (or subtract) quantities together. We understand that if you have 2 apples and then get 3 more, you have 5. We don't even need to think about it. We just know.

Young kids must learn what it means to put two groups of materials together. Heck, they even need to learn what quantities mean - how many 3 or 7 or 10 are. (Not those symbols, the amounts!) They must learn that 3 always is the same amount. They must begin to understand that counting gives the amount of items; that when counting, you count each item once and only once; that adding more doesn't mean that you have to count all of the items again but you can just count on.

Whew! That's a lot of thinking and evaluating and doing.

We adults know all of that and can immediately grasp what's happening and move on. That's because we have had lots of practice doing it and thinking about it. We have lots of experience.

Lately I've been seeing lots of parents and other adults lament or poke fun at some on the ways math is taught. "Why do they need to do that? What don't they just show them that 3+2=5?" I also wondered at some of the ways we were doing things when I was teaching second grade. Until I saw one of those "weird" things connect with a kid in my class. He got it because we did things in several different ways.

Teachers want kids to understand WHY they are doing something, not just HOW to do it. That helps them connect and evaluate and extrapolate to new applications.

Kids don't know what adults know. They don't have the experiences and practice that adults have. That's where play and investigation and experimentation and different ways of approaching problems comes in.

Let's give them a chance to develop some understanding.

Rich Environments

from Allowing Children to Bloom in Season

How does your environment encourage (or discourage) children to learn and grow in their own seasons?

Summer Reading Recap

Back in June, I began reading the book What If Everybody Understood Child Development? by Rae Pica. I'm grateful for Rae and the thinking she has inspired on these issues in education. (You can see all the posts in this blog series on the Book Study page.)

All of the issues that Rae has raised are important for young kids and their teachers. In fact, as I read the book, I also kept seeing blog posts and news stories that connected with it. The post that continues to resonate with me is Amanda Morgan's post "Allowing Children to Bloom in Season" (Not Just Cute).

She compares the growth and development of children to flowers in a garden. There's a predictable pattern to the growth and development. But each flower (and child) blooms at its own time. And for children sometimes that blooming season lasts longer or comes later.

As I pondered what I had read in Rae's book (and saw repeated in other places), I thought about the people that are proposing some of these challenging practices. I really think that teachers and most administrators have the same goal in mind--children who grow and learn and are successful. But sometimes in trying to get there, adults forget who kids are and how they are. They try "short cuts" to success and end up doing things that are not the best for them. They don't think about development. Or they are trying to be more expedient and don't realize the consequences of those choices.

As I blogged earlier, I think we teachers should think about the kids first. Then we can make intentional and balanced choices. Overall, that's my takeaway from this book. Think about the kids. Make intentional choices that relate to helping kids bloom in their own seasons. And take a balanced approach to technology, educational trends, and so forth.

The key quote from this book, the one that comes back to my mind again and again: "We talk so much about preparing kids for school but give very little thought to preparing schools for kids." (Rae Pica)

As I create learning environments for kids, I want to think about them and how I can prepare that environment for them--prepare the environment according to child development and according to the individuals that I have that inhabit it.

I highly recommend Rae's book. And I welcome any comments you have about it.

Inspiration from the Blogosphere - What I've Learned Edition

Reading Twitter and Facebook and blogs, I see lots of things flying around the blogosphere. Some of it makes me a little frustrated, some reminds me of things I knew, some is just wrong. And some brings me new ideas or new ways of seeing things. Or just makes me smile. Here are a few things that I've seen in the past couple of weeks.


Elementary Math Addict - I was cruising through Twitter yesterday and saw a retweet with the first post from this blog. I read all the posts on that blog and came away inspired. I will definitely continue to follow the blog and think of ways we can inspire math learning with young kids. In fact, this makes me want to go to the nearest elementary school and tell them that I want to teach math only to all of their first graders (and maybe kindergartners and second graders). Seriously, go read Jamie's blog.
I learned: Talking less and listening more can be the best teaching.


Fall Leaves Art Activity (Pre-K Pages) - [Full disclosure: I work with Vanessa to edit the posts on Pre-K Pages.] When I saw this post, I was intrigued and now I'm ready to try it out. Leaves, paint, and googly eyes. Let the kids explore and play. I love the pictures in this post...and the ones in my head of the possibilities that kids could create. I love open-ended art explorations and this is one I want to try.
I learned: Mixing up unrelated materials can lead to cool results.


My Son Hates Writing (And What I'm Doing to Change That) (What Do We Do All Day?) - I love the specific idea in this post - use comics or graphic novel activities to encourage a reluctant writer. I also love the generalization that this post triggers - figure out how to engage a kid to develop skills by considering his interests. Learning should be fun and should connect to the learner. This post just reinforces that (without saying it).
I learned: A little change in focus yields great results.


Allowing Children to Bloom in Season (Not Just Cute) - Amanda's writing always inspires and teaches me. This post just hit on all cylinders. Seeing kids as individuals, developing in their own ways and at their own times is so important. This post and its analogy just help us realize that more and more. (You will see more about this post soon.)
I learned: Some people really understand that kids are individuals and should be viewed as such (and so many others don't).


Babies Learn from You Every Second (video on DeLorean Facebook Page) - Just watch this small child. Everything she does mimics what the adults were doing, what she saw. A sobering reminder that they are watching and learning from us all the time.

Babies learn from you every second - both good and bad things....
Babies learn from you every second - both good and bad things. This little one picked up on how to do CPR! #lol #adorableLIKE ----->>> DeLorean For more videos.
Posted by DeLorean on Saturday, April 18, 2015

I learned: Each thing I do matters; each word makes an impression.


And one from my own page: He Wrote What?
I learned: Never underestimate what kids will retain, absorb, or do. Allow them to show it.


(For more things I find and enjoy, follow me on Twitter, Facebook, or Pinterest.)

Another Book Study

I've been reading and commenting on the book What If Everybody Understood Child Development? by Rae Pica. (Here's a list of my reading so far.)

Early Childhood and Youth Development is also reading the book (in groups of chapters) and asking various experts to comment on them. This book study started last week, so there's still time to get "caught up." There's been lots of discussion on the first post.

August 31: Chapters 1, 2, 7 (Angèle Sancho Passe)

September 7: Chapters 3, 5 (Gwen Simmons)

I have enjoyed every word of this book. If lots of educators read it and think about the issues in it, we will be having lots of new discussions about young kids and learning.

And who wouldn't welcome that.

Revelations and Reminders

Revelation #1

A couple of weeks ago I told the story about my friend who came in, upset, wanting to see his mother...now! I blogged about giving kids some control and mentioned that I put out a timer so he could see how long it was until his mom came back.

He missed last week. He came to the door this week, walked in (without his mom coming in with him), looked around and began talking to me. Everyone seemed surprised and his parents left pretty quickly. He walked over to the board where I had placed the timer before.

"Where's the timer?" he asked.
"It's in the drawer," I said. "Do I need to get it?"
"Yes," he said.

I got it out, set it, and placed it on the board. He glanced at it once or twice (early on) and then worked happily until it was time to leave.

I think I have some good instincts. Maybe I'm an okay teacher after all.

Revelation #2
I'm warming to the new group. I enjoy them. They are different from the group before. We had a group of boys that worked and played throughout the session but were so quiet and focused. The boys we had last year were a lot of fun but much louder in their play. That's not worse or better. Just different. The girls we have this year are much more active and loud. Last year most of our girls were silent.

It's always important to be ready to adjust expectations and be flexible to change what's happening in the room. (I knew this. Just a reminder for me.)

Revelation #3
Or again, a reminder. I enjoy teaching early childhood. It's challenging. It's fun. It takes work and energy and thought.

And it's a very fulfilling way to spend your time. It's going to be a great year.

Are you having new insights? Are you being reminded of things you already knew? Are you having fun?

Those Irritating Things

Are you embracing the "irritating things" that make your kids primed to learn?

Teach the Students We Have

Are you teaching the kids you have? Or the kids you wish you had?

This always makes me think.

Take a Little Risk

This summer I'm reading and commenting on the book What If Everybody Understood Child Development? by Rae Pica.

Chapter 4 - Bubble Wrapping Not Required
Our society today has become risk-adverse. Parents are concerned about kids playing out of their sights. Warnings about this or that are always appearing. Schools concerned about parent reprisals are limiting what can be done on the playground or eliminating outdoor equipment all together. It's become a perpetuating myth that danger is everywhere and adults must go to great lengths to protect kids from the world.

Certain types of dangers become overemphasized and kids become "bubble wrapped." This environment creates kids who are dependent and anxious. These kids will not grow into adults who are strong, adventurous, or courageous.

Children are made to be risk-takers. They want to push the boundaries. Taking risks and exploring boundaries helps develop problem-solvers. Kids grow into adults who are resilient, who can handle things as they happen. They become self-sufficient.

Recently I was on the playground with a group of four-year-olds. We were playing and enjoying ourselves. (We were climbing on the equipment, jumping off stairs, and even climbing up the slide - while watching for others who wanted to slide down.) Some clouds began to roll in. In the distance we could see darker clouds. Some of the kids were talking together. One came over to me: "Is it going to storm, Mr. Scott?"

I looked up. "I see the clouds. It may rain later. But I don't think it will rain now."

I went back to what I was doing. The boy stood nearby and looked up.

"What will we do if it rains?" he asked.

I realized that he seemed afraid. Afraid of rain?

I said, "If it rains, we will get a little wet. But we will go inside if it starts. But I think it's okay now."

I wondered later how he came to see rain as so dangerous. Sometimes we adults say "Be careful" or "Watch out when you do that" and build kids that are too cautious, too fearful to even try new things. While I think we need to keep kids safe and teach them to think about what they are doing, we can allow a little experimentation and a little "danger." Allowing kids to experiment also allows them to assess the situation for themselves and set their own level of acceptable risk. Kids will test and try things and not do anything that makes them feel too unsafe.

Do you offer risks in your classroom? I have had other adults say to me, "I can't believe you did ___________ with them." (The blank has been filled with different things.) I think the "riskiest" thing we've done with five-year-olds is using glue guns. Sometimes kids touch the hot glue and get a little burn - but we have cups of cold water to dip fingers in and then we go about our work. But the kids are so excited about using them and what they accomplish with them.

Along with risk-adverse thinking comes fear of failure. Kids are often afraid to take some risks or try something new because they may fail at it. Adults try to prevent kids from failing too often. Trying - failing or succeeding - also build resilience and tools for problem-solving.

How can you give kids some space to explore and take some risks? It may be more risky to try and eliminate all possible dangers.

Some links from the book:

• Free-Range Kids
• Playing It Safe? Too Safe?
• Risky Play: Why Children Love It and Need It
• Why Rough and Tumble Play Is Really Good

And a few more:

• How the Fear of Being Wrong Limits Students and Teachers
• A Healthy Dose of Risk
• Rethinking Childhood
• Is That Allowed?
• The Process of Risk

Don't Lose the Joy

This summer I'm reading and commenting on the book What If Everybody Understood Child Development? by Rae Pica.

Chapter 2: The Earlier the Better?
Chapter 3: The Power of Joy

Many adults are advocating getting started earlier and earlier so kids will be more successful. Let's push down some of those skills and expectations. If kids master these skills earlier, then they will be ready for success in school and in life. After all, we don't want kids to fall behind, to "lose" in the competition of life. But...is life and school really a competition? Is it true that earlier is better?

Rae Pica notes that this push down creates more stress and anxiety for kids. More pressure to perform. But often they are not developmentally ready to perform these tasks, so they "fail" at something they are unable to do. Research has shown that by third or fourth grade, any "advantages" of early skills even out; kids perform equally well whether they read early or later. Earlier does not equal better.

Recently I have heard the same remark or justification from different sources: "We need to teach them these things. They will need them later. Even if they don't understand it all now, it is something they will need." I don't think this is a valid argument. We need to think about who the child is NOW, not what he will be in the immediate or distant future. He is five (or seven or nine or whatever). Let's treat him like a five-year-old, with five-year-old interests and abilities and capabilities and development. Let's think about him as an individual five-year-old, not the same as another five-year-old that may be doing something else or interested in something else. Let's teach who we have, not who we wish him to be.

All this emphasis on performance and the anxiety that it creates obliterate the joy that kids derive from exploring, discovering, playing...learning. Kids naturally become excited and engaged when they are exploring ideas and pursuing something that interests them. As kids become absorbed in activities, they draw more from the experience. They experience the joy of learning. If they are being drilled on skills that may beyond their current levels of development, they may gain something from the experience. But they experience anxiety and stress - and lose the joy of learning.

A few days ago I watched a four-year-old using watercolors. He enjoyed the way the water changed color when he dipped his brush in it. His was green. His friend's was blue. He began to try and change his water blue. He experimented with different colors. He asked me about why the water stayed green (or became darker green). We talked about what was happening. He tried different things to make the water change. Very little paint went on his paper; most went straight into the water. But he was absorbed in this activity for a long while.

Today I watched the same thing happen with a six-year-old. He kept adding different colors and adjusting the mixture. He learned that pinky red water mixed with green paint makes brown water. He began to stir the water to create a swirl, dip his brush in paint, and place it back in the water to watch the color swirl off the brush and mix with the dark water. What a fun science experiment!

Both of these boys showed a great deal of joy and contentment in their experiments. Did they learn something? Undoubtedly. Was it what I had planned? No, but I was happy to see their experiments and conclusions.

That's the joy of learning. And I'm afraid we are losing that joy in classrooms every day when we push an agenda rather than follow the kids.

Some links from the book:

• Teaching Reading: When Is Too Early? When Is Too Late?
• Setting Children Up to Hate Reading
• Joy in School
• Fostering Joy in the Classroom

And a few more:

• Is the Common Core Killing Kindergarten?
• Would You LIke a Lift? More on Why Age Matters
• On DAP...And Why We Don't Push Kids Down the Stairs

They Are Not All the Same

In past summers, I've participated or supported a group of bloggers with the Blog Book Study. (Check out the page for previous years' posts.) Since we're not doing a book study this summer, I decided to read and post about a book on my own.

The book: What If Everybody Understood Child Development? by Rae Pica

Each week (or so) I'll post a quick review of the content for a chapter and add my own observations or reflections. The chapters are short, perfect for quick reading in the summertime.

Chapter 1: All Children Are Not the Same

Rae Pica notes, and I agree, that the topic of this chapter should be self-evident. Anyone who has studies development knows that each child develops in predictable stages but at his own rate. Some read earlier and some later Some walk earlier and some later. We cannot expect every child to be ready to do the same thing at the same time.

But the current standards and expectations in school are in direct opposition to this understanding. Currently, education standards expect all kindergartners to read by the end of kindergarten. The same expectations are imposed on all kids, regardless of their individual development or growth.

I've seen this dichotomy in action. When I taught second grade, I had a wide range of readers in my classroom. One day I was speaking with a colleague about my kids, looking for some insight and help. I talked about individual kids, their abilities, their progress (or lack), their challenges - at least as I could see them. She said, "Maybe you need to stop looking at each of them individually."

I didn't know how to respond. We talked about possible strategies and ways to do things. I went back to my classroom and pondered. And pondered and pondered. I tried to make sense of what she said. Maybe she meant that I needed to have a more global view of the needs in my classroom to have a plan of attack. Maybe she meant that I was getting lost in the small details and look for trends. I'm still not sure exactly what she meant.

But I know that I cannot stop seeing kids as individuals.

The triplets I have in my church kindergarten classroom are all so different from one another. Yes they are all (now) 6. Yes, they are excited to tell me stories and explore whatever things are in the room. Yes, they are all active and moving, as kindergartners are.

But one is very interested in drawing and creating. One explains things to me and tells me logically how and why things are as they are. One enjoys working with others and can tell me the complete names of all the people in his family. They are different heights and wear different sizes of shoes. (I know because they told me.) They are all different with different ideas and abilities and interests. How can I expect these three brothers (and their friends) to respond to school in exactly the same ways and learn at exactly the same rates.

All kids are different. All learn in their own ways and at their own rates. We need to create learning environments (and expectations) accordingly.

Some links from the book:

• BAM Radio: How to Help Children Learn to Read Well (with Jane Healy)
• BAM Radio: Giving Your Child the Very Best Head Start (with David Elkind)
• BAM Radio: Are Children Smarter, Learning More, Sooner Faster?
• Gesell Institute: CCSS In Kindergarten in Boys

And a couple more:

• Defending the Early Years: Critical Look at K-3 CCSS for Math
• BAM Radio: What If Everyone Understood Child Development?

"Good for Me!"

One of my favorite benefits in working with younger kids is to see how capable they are. Sometimes they surprise themselves. Sometimes they could always do it but did not have much opportunity. Sometimes I just enjoy seeing them do the things they do.

This week we made shakers - clear bottles, rice, masking tape, stickers. As we set up, we realized that we did not have a funnel. Pouring rice into the small opening of the bottles can be a little tricky. And messy. Now, I don't mind mess but try to minimize it whenever possible.

Cindy saw a small scoop in the rice bin. Perfect, she said. We'll just use that over the bin. 

It was great. The kids focused on pouring the rice in. Such concentration. They were very capable.

After getting rice into the bottles, they were ready for the outside. We had stickers but few wanted to use those. They wanted to use the colored tape!

Cutting lengths of tape can be tricky. Especially when using scissors may still be a developing skill.

A couple of times, I would offer to hold the end of the tape, to make a firm cutting line. Once, I said, "Would you like for me to hold the end of the tape?" Just then he snipped the tape off. "Good for you!" I said. "You did it."

Another boy quietly working nearby said, "Good for me!" as he continued to work.

Many eventually adopted the gravity technique. Hold the end of the tape and let the roll fall down; snip across the tape (and hear the roll hit the table!). 

While I would like to think that making a shaker was the activity here, I think cutting sticky tape was the real achievement. Sometimes the tape got folded on itself and was rendered useless. 

Our tabletop trash cans got lots of use. But that's okay.

I can always purchase more tape. I will not always have the opportunity to help kids develop competence and confidence. 

That sounds rather lofty. But I think that's just what was happening. 

And we got some really great shakers to play later with our music!