Responding to Kids

from Five Reasons to Stop Saying "Good Job"

How we respond to what kids are doing can impact what they do and why they do it. Consider why we praise, why we say what we say.

Check out: Five Reasons to Stop Saying "Good Job"

What My Class Needs

This new adventure that I've had this year has been a little rough. I've been working to be the best new first grade teacher I can, but let's face it - I'm still a newbie. I am inexperienced at this. I'm learning so many new things. And - no matter how prepared I thought I was - the reality is always different.

Today I read this blog post by Jon Acuff. (I love Jon Acuff and his message. I read Quitter and loved it. In fact, it's part of the process I went through to get to this new adventure.) Jon's post really hit me - well, as I was driving to school after reading it, I kept reflecting on it and then it slowly dawned on me.

I need to remember those two words - More You. That's what I bring to the table as a first grade teacher - me and my own unique blend of experiences, knowledge, and "talent." That's what my classroom needs - more me. I have thought about this before (see this post), but I still struggle with what I "should do." So I entered the classroom today with the thought - bring more of me - in the back of my head.

I don't remember consciously thinking of this again during the day. But I did a few things in a different way. I went with what felt right at the moment instead of relying so much on my notes for the class activities. I took a deep breath and plowed on through. The quiet powder resurfaced for our trips in the hallway. Things felt "right."

At the end of the day, as I was walking to my car, I realized that I didn't feel as exhausted as usual. Oh, I'm tired, of course. But not as mentally exhausted and not as anxious. (Maybe getting some report card stuff done helped contribute to that feeling.) As I was driving home, the post and "more you" popped back into my head. And I thought that maybe today I was more me and less "should be."

So tomorrow - more me.

(See, I'm listening!)

Do We Get a Prize?

Accomplishment can be its own reward.

I've been amazed and surprised at the power of rewards. By that, I mean that my kids are obsessed with them. And I don't even give any out.

A few weeks ago we were working in literacy centers. It was time to transition to something else, so I told the first graders to clean up. My kids sometimes need a lot of "verbal encouragement" to clean up. So I was walking around the room, telling them...reminding them...giving specific instructions for cleaning up their spaces.

One group of girls had created a display of books along one of the boards. (I think they were pretending to be in a library or bookstore.) These girls worked hard to clean up quickly and put all the books immediately back where they belonged. Since I'm a big believer in thanking and recognizing hard work, I went specifically to each of these girls. "Thank you for working hard and putting away the books. You did exactly what I asked and have moved back to your desk. Thank you." The response? "Do we get a treat/prize?" Uh, no.

This week we were working on a reading/writing/compare and contrast type of activity. We were reading about kids helping in different ways all around the world. We were comparing/contrasting how the kids were helping in the photos in our reading as well as comparing/contrasting how we help. "On the back of your page," I said, "list ways you help at home, at school, and in the neighborhood. Let's see how many you can get." The kids went to work. "Do we get a prize?" some asked. One boy showed me his list and told me how many he listed. "Great!" I said. In the days since then, he's told me that I said I would give him a prize and he wanted to know when he would get it. Uh, I didn't say that.

My school has fundraisers and gives prizes for kids who raise different levels of money. The firefighter who came to our grade gave them a "homework" assignment to check smoke detectors...with a treat or reward for any kids who brought back the paper indicating that they did it. But I don't have a prize box or give rewards. I do comment on hard work and effort. I note what the kids did, making specific statements about what I saw and heard. But I don't give out prizes. Maybe something that's a special treat for everyone...but that's rare and not in response to certain behavior.

But my kids continue to ask about them. I usually just say no and move on. But the power of them is the same. I want my kids to clean up because that's what people in a community do. (And our class is a community.) I want them to work hard because that's how learning happens. Prizes and rewards may be nice, but they are not real results from doing. (Just my opinion, FWIW.)

And the fact that kids ask, "Do we get a prize?" indicates to me that they may not have much motivation inside to complete the task or much feeling of accomplishment when they do it. I'll keep trying to recognize hard work for its own merit. It's harder than just buying lollipops but so much more worth it.