Monday the principal came in for my last observation/evaluation for the year. I didn't know he was coming this time. Things seems to go well. It wasn't the most exciting series of learning activities I've ever done. But the kids were with me and the classroom worked really well.
Tuesday felt like a major FAIL. My kids have been a little crazy lately. I guess spring fever has sprung. We have three weeks (yes 3, yikes!) left in this school year. Everyone was talking and I was a little tired of the battle.
An educational consultant picked the afternoon to enter my room to observe. She's been working with our school all year - and she has visited me before and talked with me to give some helpful suggestions. She watched as I struggled through a reading lesson and made a shift to math.
She asked if she could model something. Sure, I replied.
She said, "Boys and girls, I want you to take out your white boards. Do it silently."
They were completely silent. And continued to work that way for a while.
I felt completely defeated...completely inadequate...completely deflated.
After a few minutes, she turned the class back to me and we continued the lesson. They were working pretty well.
That afternoon, as I drove home, I was just frustrated. I'm trying as hard as I can. And someone can just step in and do a better job. Hmm.
It's hard when you are where you think you should be and it doesn't seem to work.
But I went back today - ready to start over. The day was better. And we worked through a school security threat that impacted just about everything in our day.
This afternoon, several kids came and told me: "You are the best teacher." "You are great!" "Even if you are a screamer, you're the bomb." (Guess I've been using my loud voice recently.)
The notes, the hugs, the affirmations. Today definitely didn't feel like a fail. Guess I'll just take it one day at a time, ups and downs and all, in this first grade adventure.
