Merry Christmas to You

Merry Christmas! Christmas is a time to think about the hope and peace that came with the birth of a baby in a manger. I hope you get to spend these holidays with people you love.

And Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family line of David, to be registered along with Mary, who was engaged to him and was pregnant.

While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. Then she gave birth to her firstborn Son, and she wrapped Him snugly in cloth and laid Him in a feeding trough--because there was no room for them at the inn.

In the same region, shepherds were staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Don't be afraid, for look, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all people: today a Savior, who is Messiah the Lord, was born for you in the city of David. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped snugly in cloth and lying in a feeding trough."

Suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying: "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to people He favors!"

When the angels had left them and returned to heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go straight to Bethlehem and see what has happened, which the Lord has made known to us." They hurried off and found both Mary and Joseph, and the baby who was lying in the feeding trough.

(from Luke 2:4-16)

Giving Thanks

This week is the time we set aside to give thanks. I am truly thankful for all the blessings I have. God has continued to give to me beyond measure. I see each day the things I have that so many others do not have - a warm house, a vehicle to drive, food on my table, the world of knowledge at my fingertips through the Internet.

I am thankful for a wife who is supportive and tough and loving. She regularly cooks for me. She helps me when I need a sounding board. She gives me wisdom. She tells me to "get over it" when I need that. She is a true blessing to me.

I am thankful for the opportunity I have to talk and learn and play and grow with a group of young kids. They show me new things each week. They remind me how to be kind. They lead me to try new things and risk without thinking about what others may think or say. They are brave as they take on the world.

I am thankful for the things I didn't get. In looking back over the past couple of years, I see that what didn't happen was for my good - even if it didn't seem like it at the time.

I am thankful for you, the ones who read these words. Thank you!

A Year of Learning and Growing

It's the end of the year. A time for reflection and assessment. No, not at school but in life. How has this past year been for you? A year of triumph? Of struggle? Of change?

As this year ends, I think about what I expected. This year has been a year of unexpected things. I've had surprises and letdowns. I've had wonderful opportunities to grow. I've learned a lot. And it's hard to say a year is unsuccessful if you've learned and grown. I'm not where I thought I should be and yet I'm just where I need to be.

Here are a few things I've learned this year--

It's not too late to do it. The past few years have been teaching me this. I made a midlife change to teaching in an elementary classroom a few years ago. At that time, I had to go back to school and get a master's degree to get my full teaching license. This year I graduated with a Master of Arts in Teaching. I now have a full teaching license. I'm "older" but was still able to accomplish this. (And I had a 4.0 in my studies - I know it's bragging but I'm old and did it!) Is there something you want to do or try? It's not too late to at least investigate and begin it

It won't happen if you don't ask. I wanted to do some new things and begin to expand my writing and editing. But not many people are clogging my phone or email with work requests. So I've had to ask, pitch, offer. I've contacted a few people in areas I want to work. Some of those have said no. I'm waiting for others to answer. But I've learned a lot and uncovered more possibilities and ideas. I wouldn't have known about these if I didn't ask. They may say no, but I learn and grow just by asking. Do you want to try something new in the classroom or in your professional life? Ask. It may not happen. It might. But you won't know if you don't ask.

Plant seeds. You never know what will yield. Last year I contacted someone about a possible venture. There was interest but it didn't really pan out. But from that grew another opportunity. This new job I have is one that I enjoy immensely. Ask questions and follow leads. Something completely different may develop from your seeds.

There's more than one way to your dream. I'm not in the daily classroom right now. But I am still teaching. I teach in my church kindergarten class. I volunteer in two different classrooms once a week. I teach in a reading clinic. I writing curriculum and edit on a preschool web site. I write on teaching here. I'm still able to live out my dream of teaching young children, just in a way different from what I expected. If things change in your dream, look for other ways to fulfill it.

I was born to be a teacher. I love working with young kids. It's what I am meant to do. I'm learning how to do that in different ways. Are you doing what you were meant to do?

This has been a great year of learning and growing. And discovering and exploring.

How has your year been?

Christmas

Merry Christmas! I hope you get to spend these holidays with people you love.

Christmas is the time we celebrate the hope that came with the birth of Jesus.

And Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family line of David, to be registered along with Mary, who was engaged to him and was pregnant.

While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. Then she gave birth to her firstborn Son, and she wrapped Him snugly in cloth and laid Him in a feeding trough--because there was no room for them at the inn.

In the same region, shepherds were staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Don't be afraid, for look, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all people: today a Savior, who is Messiah the Lord, was born for you in the city of David. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped snugly in cloth and lying in a feeding trough."

Suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying: "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to people He favors!"

When the angels had left them and returned to heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go straight to Bethlehem and see what has happened, which the Lord has made known to us." They hurried off and found both Mary and Joseph, and the baby who was lying in the feeding trough.

(from Luke 2:4-16)

I'm So Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving! I was looking at past years' posts. I saw this one. I cannot think of a better way to say thanks. Here's that post again. (Thank you for reading my blog!)


I am so blessed. This week of Thanksgiving I am full of things to thank God for.

I am thankful for flowers and all of the beautiful natural world.

I am thankful for a place to live.

I am thankful for my family.

I am thankful for food.

I am thankful for a car to drive.

I am thankful for my friends.

I am thankful I have money to have what I need.

I am thankful for my wife.
(These are her hands; she won't let me post her picture.)

I am thankful for hands...and a fairly healthy body.

I am thankful for doctors...and others who help us in our community.

I am thankful for my blog friends.

I am thankful I can teach boys and girls.

Revelations and Reminders

Revelation #1

A couple of weeks ago I told the story about my friend who came in, upset, wanting to see his mother...now! I blogged about giving kids some control and mentioned that I put out a timer so he could see how long it was until his mom came back.

He missed last week. He came to the door this week, walked in (without his mom coming in with him), looked around and began talking to me. Everyone seemed surprised and his parents left pretty quickly. He walked over to the board where I had placed the timer before.

"Where's the timer?" he asked.
"It's in the drawer," I said. "Do I need to get it?"
"Yes," he said.

I got it out, set it, and placed it on the board. He glanced at it once or twice (early on) and then worked happily until it was time to leave.

I think I have some good instincts. Maybe I'm an okay teacher after all.

Revelation #2
I'm warming to the new group. I enjoy them. They are different from the group before. We had a group of boys that worked and played throughout the session but were so quiet and focused. The boys we had last year were a lot of fun but much louder in their play. That's not worse or better. Just different. The girls we have this year are much more active and loud. Last year most of our girls were silent.

It's always important to be ready to adjust expectations and be flexible to change what's happening in the room. (I knew this. Just a reminder for me.)

Revelation #3
Or again, a reminder. I enjoy teaching early childhood. It's challenging. It's fun. It takes work and energy and thought.

And it's a very fulfilling way to spend your time. It's going to be a great year.

Are you having new insights? Are you being reminded of things you already knew? Are you having fun?

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! I hope you get to spend this day with people whom you love.

This time of year is a time of joy and hope for me as we celebrate Christmas, the birth of Jesus.

And Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family line of David, to be registered along with Mary, who was engaged to him and was pregnant.

While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. Then she gave birth to her firstborn Son, and she wrapped Him snugly in cloth and laid Him in a feeding trough--because there was no room for them at the inn.

In the same region, shepherds were staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Don't be afraid, for look, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all people: today a Savior, who is Messiah the Lord, was born for you in the city of David. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped snugly in cloth and lying in a feeding trough."

Suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying: "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to people He favors!"

When the angels had left them and returned to heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go straight to Bethlehem and see what has happened, which the Lord has made known to us." They hurried off and found both Mary and Joseph, and the baby who was lying in the feeding trough.

(from Luke 2:4-16)

Happy Thanksgiving

Thank you.

Thank you for reading this blog.

Thank you for the encouragement you give me.

Thank you for being interested in helping boys and girls learn and grow.


This has been an unusual year for me. New adventures. New new adventures. The scary (with my wife's auto accident) and the unknown (with my current occupational hiatus).

But I am thankful for each experience. God has blessed me and Cindy beyond all I could think or ask.
God's gifts are many. I thank Him for each.


I pray that your life is filled with more blessings than discouragements, more joys than hurts, more giving than receiving.

Happy Thanksgiving!

A Switch Has Flipped

Eighteen months (or so) I began this journey as an elementary classroom teacher. I made this mid-life career change for one reason--I had to do it. 

I know that this is what I've been chosen to do at this point in my life. It's my calling...my ministry. (As a Christian I believe my work is a part of my spiritual life.) I know I am just where I should be right now.

And yet, I've struggled with the transition. I feel like I should be better at it than I am. I have worked with groups of children for years. I have studied education and strategies...and used those for years. The things that I felt the most comfortable and confident in...well, that's where I've had difficulty.

Even though I knew I was doing just what I should, I still have had nervous feelings and some anxiety most mornings before going to school. For the past eighteen months (or so). 

Until this week. It feels like a switch has flipped. My attitude is completely different. I can't wait to get to school - looking forward to seeing the students and excited about what we will be doing and discovering.

Even when we've had some crazy moments this week - and many of my afternoons have crazy moments - I still feel good at the end of the day. That's not what has been happening. A little crazy time and I would feel down or frustrated or failure. But not this week.

A switch has flipped. (As a Christian I know who flipped it for me.) My attitude has changed. And that has made all the difference.

I still have some frustration. I still need to improve some things. But I'm excited about the possibilities. 

I am a teacher. And I'm so glad I am.

Merry Christmas!

It's Christmas! On Friday, the last day before our break, I discovered this gift.

Mrs. Wiley came to help with our party.

Sometime during our party on Thursday, a student slipped behind the screen and wrote this on the board. I raised the screen on Friday and "unwrapped" this gift. I think I know who the giver is...and couldn't be more pleased with any other gift.

This time of year is a time of joy and hope for me as we celebrate Christmas, the birth of Jesus.

And Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family line of David, to be registered along with Mary, who was engaged to him and was pregnant.

While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. Then she gave birth to her firstborn Son, and she wrapped Him snugly in cloth and laid Him in a feeding trough--because there was no room for them at the inn.

In the same region, shepherds were staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Don't be afraid, for look, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all people: today a Savior, who is Messiah the Lord, was born for you in the city of David. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped snugly in cloth and lying in a feeding trough."

Suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying: "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to people He favors!"

When the angels had left them and returned to heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go straight to Bethlehem and see what has happened, which the Lord has made known to us." They hurried off and found both Mary and Joseph, and the baby who was lying in the feeding trough.

(from Luke 2:4-16)

I pray peace and hope to you and your families. And rest...lots of rest.

Thankful

This week I asked my reading class to write things they were thankful for. (I also asked them to draw a picture to go with their thankful things. They chose to draw hand turkeys - I didn't suggest it.)

Their lists included family members and houses, food and friends. I even made a couple of lists!

As each child read his list to me, I was reminded of how thankful and blessed I am. Here's what I wrote last Thanksgiving...and it's still true, maybe more so. (It's been edited a little to fit my new circumstances.)

It's Thanksgiving. I am such a blessed man.

I have a wonderful wife. She is in every way just what I need. She listens to my rants and complaints. She encourages. She gives me a swift kick when I need. She talks me down off the metaphorical ledge. She celebrates with me...even when I'm sure she's not sure why we are celebrating things like a day with quieter voices in the classroom. She challenges me to think about things in a new way and listens when I ramble on about my own thoughts. She is wonderful. I love her. I am blessed.

I am in just the place I need to be. I love my job. And sometimes I'm not sure about my job. It challenges me. It rewards me. It frustrates me. It grows me. It affirms me. It blesses me. I cannot think of a higher calling than teaching kids. I'm still learning all I need to know to be a good second grade teacher. But I know I'm in the right place. The staff at my school is great. They've been helpful and encouraging, ready to listen and suggest. I am grateful for my new friends! I am blessed.

I have a warm house, a working car (actually 2), more than enough food. I have everything I need and so much more. Seeing families in my school each week...I am reminded me that I have so much. Not just material things, though I certainly have a lot of that. But the emotional support of family and friends. The security of a regular paycheck. I've often been reminded that the "problems" and "anxieties" I have are so small. I am blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you get to spend the day with someone you love. I hope you get to reflect and thank God for all you have, however much it is. I am thankful. I am blessed.

Plot Twist

Sometimes the road is
twisted and tangled.

Do you like to read? I read a lot...and I love mysteries. I really enjoy when there's an unexpected (but logical) surprise to the storyline. Those plot twists make the story interesting and ultimately better than it would have been otherwise.

That's nice for books. But I'm not sure that I enjoy it as much in real life. And that's what happened to me this week. A plot twist in my teaching adventure.

Enrollment at our school is less than projected. So we need fewer teachers. So two teachers must be "displaced." So I'm at the bottom of the pecking order. Therefore, I'm one of the displaced ones. And displaced means that I'll move to another school.

I will be going to another school...to teach second grade. Yes, you read that right, I'm going up a grade level. Immediately.

I'll pack up my room on Monday...unpack at the new school on Tuesday...start teaching Wednesday. Yikes! My new first grade friends will move to a new room on Monday to be with a new (wonderful and sweet) teacher.

This wasn't in my master plan. Heck, this wasn't in the short-range plan.

I'm intrigued and nervous and terrified and just plain sad about the entire thing. But I know it will be an interesting part of my adventure. Plot twists are exciting and can give lots of insight in the overall storyline.

I wouldn't have chosen this particular twist at this point. If I were in charge of it all (and, let's face it, I'm not!), I would have chosen to move to kindergarten. But, maybe I need some broader experiences for whatever is coming down the road. Maybe I just need to practice making new friends. Maybe even more exciting dreams await in a new place. Whatever it is, I trust in Him for the outcome.

I'll keep writing about my adventures here. This next year may be lots of ups and downs as I figure out the second grade landscape. I'll apologize now for any whining (and try to keep it out of the blog).

(And, if you know any good second grade activities or resources, please feel free to share!)

Onward with the adventure!

Change Ahead

I've always thought of myself as an optimistic person. And I guess I am in public. When challenges arise, I look for the positive outcomes. When I see a child's behavior, I look for the great among the "not so great" behaviors.  For example, last year I told people, "My kids are so social. They like to talk about what they are doing." (Instead of saying, "Those kids will not be quiet!") And I meant it. I think it's great that kids want to talk about things and share their experiences.

But - inside - I often become a pessimist. Well, I say I'm practical. If something is changing, let's look for ways to be prepared for the worst. Note exactly a bad thing...but it can affect my overall attitude. This year we have a new principal. The principal who brought be to my new first grade adventure last year has been moved to a new school. In addition, he was a friend before he was my principal. Now we have a new one. And I'm worried...or...I'm thinking about possibilities under this change. What if the new principal doesn't like me or what I'm doing? What if she decides not to keep me on next year? (See, the year hasn't even started yet and I'm wondering about next year.)

This "practical" view of things can affect my work, or at least attitude toward what I'm doing. I am looking forward to a new year with (yes) a few changes - based on what I learned in my first year. I'm feeling more confident as a teacher of first graders. I really can't wait to see those kids in my classroom. But the inner dialogue of what "might happen" keeps intruding on that excitement.

So I want to change...change my thinking, change my self-talk. I've been working on seeing the great opportunities instead of pitfalls. Oh, I want to be prepared for whatever may come. But that doesn't mean that I need to dwell on these possibilities. I am going to have a fun and exciting year. (And if the new principal doesn't want me to come back next year, I'll deal with that in May. And look forward to the opportunities that may come with any future change.)

(This post is a part of #kinderblog13.)

Time to Reset?

I've been thinking and reflecting over the past couple of weeks. During this time, I had great plans for reading and planning and thinking. I didn't get as many things done as I had planned...but I did get some rest.

One thing that I really reflected on is this blog. Over four years ago I started writing here. I wanted to share and explore ideas. Not long after I began, I found community of other people to challenge me and  help me reflect.

But things have been difficult lately for me and the blog. I feel like it's become more of a chore. I worry that I'm not posting enough. Sometimes I think too much about what other people will think or like (and maybe retweet or comment on). (John Spencer's post about numbers comes to mind.) Other times I have been so focused on my new adventure, more personal reflection than reflection on teaching and ideas.

So I've been thinking. Is it time for me to just stop? Do something different? I've thought and thought about it.

I don't want to stop. But I do need to do a reset. I'm going to try to get back to what I did at the beginning.

I'll be posting a couple of times a week. I will still post about things happening in my first grade class. I will reflect on what I think about teaching and kids. I will post links that I find inspirational and helpful. I will still indulge and post personal reflections on my continuing personal journey and adventure.

I love to get comments but I'm not going to judge the value of what I post on who comments. I love sharing ideas but won't worry when no one retweets the link. And I'm not going to worry that there's not a daily post.

I appreciate your reading my blog. I hope you will continue to find interesting and useful posts here. I love connecting with others interested in teaching young kids.

Not Working Is Okay Too

Woodpecker outside my classroom - banging his head

I had two weeks for Spring Break. And I had big plans. I was going to read those books that would help me in the classroom. I was going to organize my stuff in the garage (or at least make headway on it). I was going to get my home office cleaned up so I could work more efficiently. I was going to make some great center resources. And I was going to have some fun. (My mom and my wife insisted on the last one!)

So, I sit here at the end of my break...thinking about starting back to school...and realize that I was very unproductive during my break. And I'm starting to bang my head about it. Why didn't I get anything done? Why wasn't I productive?

Well, that's not entirely true. I spent most of the first week writing a research paper for my university class. Not very relaxing and not very helpful to my classroom - except for getting my permanent teaching license.

But I didn't clean the garage. I worked very little in the home office. I read for my university class...but not much other work-related reading. Well...I did read lots and lots of blogs online. And post some of those things to Evernote.

What did I do? I watched some movies. I read several other books. (Mysteries are my favorite.) I spent one entire day driving around the area with my wife...just for fun. I did some stitching.

And now, this last weekend, I've been berating myself and beating myself up for it. Why didn't I do all those work things? Why wasn't I productive?

Then...in a reflective moment...in a moment that I decided to give myself a break...I realized. Not working (when I have the time) is okay, too. In fact, it's probably better than okay. I needed some down time. It's been a hard year. Maybe a few days thinking about other things will help me be a better teacher since it will help me be a better me.

Yes, spending time making or reading or organizing would help. But relaxing and disengaging and not thinking would help, too. I needed a break...and I took one. I need to be thankful for all that "productive" time. And now get back to work!

Is it hard for you to take some relaxation time? Do you feel guilty (like I do)? I'm working on it.

I Am Blessed

It's Thanksgiving. I am such a blessed man.

I have a wonderful wife. She is in every way just what I need. She listens to my rants and complaints. She encourages. She gives me a swift kick when I need. She talks me down off the metaphorical ledge. She celebrates with me...even when I'm sure she's not sure why we are celebrating things like a day with quieter voices in the classroom. She challenges me to think about things in a new way and listens when I ramble on about my own thoughts. She is wonderful. I love her. I am blessed.

I am in just the place I need to be. I love my job. And sometimes I'm not sure about my job. It challenges me. It rewards me. It frustrates me. It grows me. It affirms me. It blesses me. I cannot think of a higher calling than teaching kids. I'm still learning all I need to know to be a good first grade teacher. But I know I'm in the right place. (I hope my principal continues to think so, too!) I love my school. My principal is great. I have lots of resources, in my classroom and in my school. And I've been encouraged so much by the people at my school. They are the best! And the first grade team of teachers has been so welcoming and helpful. I am grateful for my new friends! I am blessed.

I have a warm house, a working car (actually 2), more than enough food. I have everything I need and so much more. Seeing families in my school each week...I am reminded me that I have so much. Not just material things, though I certainly have a lot of that. But the emotional support of family and friends. The security of a regular paycheck. I've often been reminded that the "problems" and "anxieties" I have are so small. I am blessed.


Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you get to spend the day with someone you love. I hope you get to reflect and thank God for all you have, however much it is. I am thankful. I am blessed.

Two Months

Two months ago I "officially" became a first grade teacher.

I must say that I feel I'm growing into that role. I don't feel nervous or uneasy before school anymore (most days). I've learned a lot and continue to discover more things that I want to know.

I feel like some days we actually accomplish things.

I still have days that feel a little out of control, but those are fewer...or at least I tolerate them better.

I walked into my room the other day when we had a planning day. I looked around and thought, "I'm beginning to love this room." Oh, there are lots of things I want to do to make the environment better. There are many things I want to master...and help my kids master.

There are things that I know I need to improve. And (sometimes) I remember that there are things that I'm doing pretty well. (And, when I doubt it, the notes and hugs remind me.)

I love my new job.

A Heavy Heart

Today my heart is heavy. In fact, I'm having trouble concentrating on the many things I need to get done. My thoughts keep turning to my 9-year-old friend Sam. He died yesterday, 24 hours after going to the hospital with a severe headache. Completely unexpected...and so fast.

I taught Sam in my church kindergarten classroom. He was a different thinker. He often challenged me to see things from a completely different perspective. One of my favorite classroom memories: Sam pressing his ear against the wall. "How does the wall sound?" he asked me. I pressed my ear to the wall to listen to the classroom next door. Then Sam lay on the floor. "How does the floor sound?" he asked. I let Sam tell me instead of lying on the floor (since I would take lots of space and block the movement of other children in the room).

Sam left my classroom at the end of that year. But we stayed friends. When he would see me in the hallway, he would call out, "Hi Mr. Scott!" We sat together in children's choir (or sometimes we'd stand together). He often quoted movies to me, and I loved to hear him sing.

Sam's curiosity amazes me. He would ask questions about all kinds of things. Sometimes he would ask me the same question from week to week, I think to see if my answer would change. Often he would repeat my words (almost exactly) that I had said weeks before about a topic.

My friend Sam inspired me to think of new directions in my own life. I wondered about unusual thinkers like Sam in the school classroom. Sam had great teachers but I wondered about other boys and girls. My experiences with Sam made me want to help other boys and girls in their learning.

As you know, I made the jump to teaching full-time this year. I'm in a first grade classroom today partly because of Sam. I have a long way to go before I will be a good teacher for children like Sam and for all the kids. I have a couple of different thinkers in my classroom right now. And I am even more determined to be a better teacher to them...and to each child in my classroom.

Sam, I will miss your smile and your greeting. I will miss your questions and your observations. I will miss you. But I will never forget what you taught me. And I will try to pass that along to others - kids and teachers - as I work to be a good teacher.

Doubts and Faith

When I first began to share the news that I was leaving my "regular" job and going to teach first graders, people were so supportive. (Well, they are still supportive.) I heard regularly how lucky the kids would be and what a great teacher I would make.

Four weeks in - I sometimes doubt that I'm making an impact. Things seem really hectic in my classroom at times. I have lots of social kids - those who want to talk and talk and talk. To me. To the kids around them. To the bookshelf. Well, not really but it seems that way.

My number one fear is failing the children. I want my kids to learn and grow. I want them to know as much as possible before they move on to second grade. But many times it seems that things aren't progressing as I'd hoped. And I feel that I'm not doing what I need to do to help them.

I want my class to be fun and energizing and full of learning. But at the end of some days, it just seems like we struggled to make it to the end of the day intact. Things aren't like I imagined. (And that's normal.) I feel I'm struggling because I'm not doing something right.

Four weeks in - I know I'm where I should be. I have a classroom full of wonderful kids. Kids that have needs and problems. Kids that have promise and potential. Kids that seem to like me and my classroom. And kids whose faces fall when I sometimes let impatience show through. And I have faith that being where I should be will help me become who I need to be.

I must remind myself that they are only 6 (or so). And that I have only been a first grade teacher for 4 weeks. We are all still learning together. I have faith that I'm doing what I should. And I have faith that I can learn how to make the kids shine.

It's hard but it's worth it. I'll get it. Maybe being the reflective kind of guy I am will help me be a better teacher in the long run. I hope the kids will be patient with me...more patient than I sometimes am with them.

I'm living on the border of doubt and faith. Maybe a fairly good first grade teacher can grow here.

Finding My Way

I love teaching first graders. Even the challenging parts. I'm learning more and more each day. And...many days...I worry and stress that I'm not doing it right. My biggest worry - my kids won't be learning anything.

I have a great team of fellow first grade teachers. They have been absolutely wonderful. They are giving and helpful. They listen and offer advice. They let me peek at what they are planning. They even don't mind if I stalk their rooms from time to time.

I've incorporated some of their ideas into my classroom. I've picked up a few things from the great substitute teacher I had working with me at the beginning of the year (until all my paperwork made me "official").

But I've learned something valuable along the (short) way I've come. I cannot be a teacher like someone else. I cannot be a first grade teacher like the others in my school. I must be a first grade teacher as myself. "Mr. Scott" must be a part of "Mr. Wiley" or I'm going to struggle even more.

So...this week we used Uno cards to put 3 numbers in order from least to greatest. We bounced a beach ball around as we counted to 50. (Well, we only made it to 27 before I had to stop it. We need to practice bouncing the ball gently.) Sometimes, we went to centers with little or no big goal in mind. (Probably most of the time.) We just needed to spend some time interacting and exploring. Sometimes I listen to long stories that only have the outcome of developing skills in expressing ideas.

As I continue through this year, I'm going to make mistakes. I'm going to try things that don't work - my own ideas and the ideas of others.

But I've decided that I cannot be someone else's idea of a first grade teacher. And I cannot be a first grade teacher as I interpret it from someone else's classroom. I must be myself first - myself as a first grade teacher. That's the way I'm going to be a good first grade teacher.

This will be my mantra for this year: Take what works and discard the rest. I'll find my way. And, hopefully, the first graders will gain some knowledge. (And have a little fun, too.)